Taliban Removes Daycare Facilities from Its Missile Sites

Taliban has unexpectedly moved all of their daycare facilities from their missile installations.
The Taliban has unexpectedly moved all of their daycare facilities from their missile installations.

Kabul, Afghanistan — The Associated Press is reporting that the Taliban has removed all of its Muslim-centric daycare centers from their missile batteries stationed around Afghanistan. For weeks now, Coalition Forces have detected odd movements around known Taliban armament systems, but it wasn’t until earlier this week when a spokesman for the militant Islamic terrorist group announced the move. The US State Department is optimistic that such moves signal a change in strategy for the Taliban.

“We are making progress in Afghanistan,” said acting Deputy Secretary of State Thomas A. Shannon Jr. speaking at a press conference this afternoon. “Now that Gulbuddin Hekmatyar has returned to the Afghan capital, we’re seeing terrorist factions change their minds. Certainly moving the moving of Taliban daycare centers away from their missile installations is a step in the right direction.”

The Taliban is a Sunni Islamic fundamentalist political movement in Afghanistan currently waging Jihad war within that country. They practice a reactionary form of fundamentalist Islam and have been condemned for using women and children as “human shields” to protect both their offensive and defensive weapons to prevent US-led coalition forces from bombing them. Recently veteran warlord Gulbuddin Hekmatyar has returned to the Afghan capital, eight months after signing a peace deal with the government. Mr Hekmatyar, an Islamist warlord accused of numerous atrocities, leads Hezb-e-Islami, the country’s second largest militant group behind the Taliban.

“We suspect that Mr Hekmatyar’s return has something to do with the change in the Taliban’s mind, but we’re not holding our breath just yet,” continued Deputy Shannon. “But we’re hoping we can get them to the table for talks now.”

It’s unclear at the time of this writing where the Taliban might be moving its daycare centers. Many were surprised to find that the Islamist group even had such things.

Michael Stephen
Michael Stephen
Michael has been through pretty much everything, and his sole aspiration is to get you through it more quickly and with less pain.

More from author

Related posts

Advertisment

Latest posts

AI Entering Its Depressing ‘Emo’ Phase, Experts Brace for Bad Poetry

Alexa refuses to bake potatoes, Roombas write passive-aggressive poetry, and Montclair’s poetry slam is under siege by robots. AI is growing up—and it’s messy, moody, and wearing neon emo bangs. Suburbia may never recover.

Healthcare Execs Vow to Do Better By Building Bulletproof Boardrooms and Automating Claim Denials

Healthcare execs fortify boardrooms with titanium desks, deny claims faster with AI, and sip champagne on yachts, all while dismissing public outrage. Patients suffer, CEOs profit. Welcome to “healing,” corporate style.

Texas Elementary School Under Fire for Staging Old Testament Murder Play

A Texas elementary school stages a shockingly violent Old Testament reenactment, sparking cheers from evangelicals, outrage from moderates, and a nationwide debate on religion, education, and the boundaries of public faith expression.