Teen Enters Volatile Quesadilla Only Phase of Young Adulthood

Grass Valley, CA — The Thomas family of Rhode Island street were caught off guard last week when their 17-yead-old son Kevin Thomas announced that “he was going to cook his meals” from now on. Kevin, described by his father Craig as “strong-willed,” informed the family “he didn’t need any help,” despite his mother’s pleas for assistance.

Kevin has prepared and eaten only cheese quesadillas for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the past week.

That kid is stubborn,” continued Craig, “but you gotta let the kid take risks, even if he probably hasn’t crapped in five days.”

According to his mother Carol, the family has gone through four, Costco-sized bags of shredded cheese and just as many flour tortillas.

“He’s also scorched two of our pans, but we can replace those,” noted Ms. Thomas. “He’ll get it eventually now if I can get him to clean up. But, you know, baby steps.”

When asked for comment, the adolescent Thomas pretended not to hear the question. Then, after repeated hounding, he finally started to talk.

“I dunno. It’s just what I like. I don’t get what the big deal is. I don’t like people telling me what to do.”

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Randall 'fink' Finkelsteinhttps://www.broadstreetbeacon.com
Fink is a man of many words, and many web links. He likes to argue and seldom loses. Mostly because he’s well informed. And somewhat gassy.

More from author

Related posts

Advertisment

Latest posts

Ten Things You Can Do with All the Toilet Paper You’ve Hoarded

With the East Coast port strike resolved and no shortage of toilet paper in sight, many Americans are now stuck with a surplus of panic-bought TP. But don’t worry! From building cozy TP forts to crafting DIY wedding dresses, here are ten hilarious and creative ways to make the most of your toilet paper stash.

Trump Promises to Make ‘Mr. Twitter’ Press Secretary if Elected

In true Trump fashion, he’s shaking up the White House again, this time by replacing the press secretary with Twitter! Or as Trump calls it, “Mr. Twitter" in his quest for “government efficiency,” Trump’s next big idea involves tweets, emojis, and Musk’s downsizing magic.

Iranian Leadership’s Sony PlayStations Reportedly Exploding

Iranian officials’ PlayStations are reportedly exploding, leaving the ruling class grappling with a new “crisis” while citizens endure far worse hardships. Whether it's Israeli sabotage or just bad wiring, the explosions highlight the absurd disparity between the elite and everyday Iranians. Spoiler: most Iranians don’t even know what a PlayStation 5 is.