Marinette, WI — A Wisconsin native has issued a desperate plea for nudes after being diagnosed with Nanocephalic Aesthetic Receptor Daguerreotype Syndrome (NARDS), an extremely rare disease that affects the brain.
Wayne Kerr, 22, of Marinette, WI, first learned of his diagnosis on April 1st of this year. “I thought the doctor was playing some kind of sick, twisted April fool’s joke,” said Kerr, “but then reality set in. [It] was quite a shock.”
According to Robert Colvin, lead research analyst at the Rundex Family Foundation (RFF), there have been only three documented cases of NARDS in North America since 2010. “NARDS is an uncommonly rare disease that targets the limbic system of the brain, creating an insatiable desire for digitally transferred images of attractive females in the nude,” Colvin said.
Devastated, Wayne bravely took to social media to relay the heartbreaking news.
Dear friends,
I just learned I have an inoperable, fatal illness with no known cure. My doctor estimates I have 12-16 months left to live in this Earthly realm. I don’t want your money, your sympathy or your thoughts and prayers. If you really want to help me through this difficult time, send nudes. No fat chicks.
Wayne’s parents, Joe and Lyza Kerr, are still coming to terms with their son’s seemingly out-of-nowhere diagnosis.
“I didn’t even know he was sick,” Mrs. Kerr said, “then one day he comes home from college unannounced and says he has one year to live. How are you supposed to process information like that?”
Wayne’s mother is pleading for the public to send her son nudes, the more graphic the better. “It’s the only thing that makes him happy,” she said fighting back tears.
“If all you can spare is a side boob, it’s better than nothing,” said Wayne’s little brother Jack, “but he prefers full-on beav shots.”
Family Rallies Around #NudesforWayne
While the Kerr family continues to campaign online with the hashtag #NudesforWayne, the Miracle Babes Foundation (MBF) has offered to provide a once-a-day sext from one of their voluptuous volunteers.
Miracle Babes is a non-profit organization that arranges private cam shows and sexting for teens and adults with life-threatening medical conditions.
The risque charity made national headlines earlier this year after a MBF volunteer was arrested for texting lewd images to a 15-year-old boy battling leukemia.
MBF President, Amber, defended their work. “The kid’s family sided with us and dropped all charges, but the media never reported that,” she said. Amber believes the work she does is important enough to risk jail time. “When you get an Amber alert, you forget you have a terminal disease, if only for a little while.”
A former classmate of Kerr’s, Eric Shun, thinks this whole crusade may be an elaborate ruse for nudes. “I wouldn’t put it past the guy,” he said. “He’s always talking about hoaxes and false flags. Has anyone actually confirmed this diagnosis? Has anyone seen his medical records or spoken to his doctor? You’re all being playedfake news.”
Wayne’s father is pained by Shun’s allegations.
“My son is hurting. My family is hurting. To suggest something like that is simply unconscionable,” he said.
