Enlightened Self-Interest Fails to Fill Grass Valley Pothole

Grass Valley, CA — A large Grass Valley pothole has gone unrepaired despite the claims of some neighbors that “enlightened self-interest” would fix it.  Rhode Island Street resident Dominic Roark was adamant that volunteers driven by free will would repair the road in front of his house when the pothole appeared 4 years ago.

“In a free economy, where no man or group of men can use physical coercion against anyone,” said Mr. Roark lecturing a group of children in front of his home. “Economic power can be achieved only by voluntary means: by the voluntary choice and agreement of all those who participate in the process of production and trade. So we should not force others via taxation or guns or anything else to fix that pothole.”

When asked if he had contacted the city regarding the repairs, Mr. Roark bristled.

“These kids listen better than you do,” continued Mr. Roark tilting his head back. “The passive man is found on every level of society, in mansions and in slums, and his identification mark is his dread of independence. He is a parasite who expects to be taken care of by others, who wishes to be given directives, to obey, to submit, to be regulated, to be told. He welcomes collectivism, which eliminates any chance that he might have to think or act on his own initiative. This is what the government does. It makes us passive and we wait for some government lackey to come and fill the pothole.”

According to Mr. Roark, he did make an attempt to fix the pothole by filling it with several Ayn Rand novels, but according to him, some ‘moochers’ stole them. He said this has happened at least six times over the past 4 years.

“Look,” said Mr. Roark raising his voice, “collectivism is not the ‘New Order of Tomorrow.’ It is the order of a very dark yesterday. But there is a New Order of Tomorrow. It belongs to Individual Man;  the only creator of any tomorrow’s humanity has ever been granted.”

The City of Grass Valley said it knew nothing of the pothole, but dispatched a crew to investigate.

Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair is Gish Gallop's Media and Cultural Editor. She has written widely including publications such as Rolling Stone, The Atlantic and the Lady's Home Journal where she hosts a regular column on the ravages of Billy Joel's music entitled, Billy Joel is a Piece of Shit. Loretta is married to her second husband after her first died protesting railway expansion in Kansas. Please do not ask her about it.

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