North San Juan, CA — As previously reported on The Fazzler, North San Juan resident and chemtrail researcher Skyy Wolford is relieved that his Wiccan Sky Dragon has taken his first flight to defeat the Chemtrail “geoengineering” scourge that is taking over our planet. Juban, the Sky Dragon’s formal name, took his first flight late Tuesday night leaving the North San Juan Ridge for a chemtrail installation located in the eastern State of Maine.
I am so happy that the Wiccan Sky Dragon is ending this madness,” said Mr. Wolford in a landline telephone interview from an undisclosed location. “It’s going to take a creature like Juban to end this Earth-altering madness.”
According to sources close to Mr. Wolford’s borderline pathological imagination, Juban has detected high levels of barium and aluminum in the atmosphere in several locations around the United States. When asked how he does this, Mr. Wolford had this to say.
“I have no idea how Juban does it,” continued Mr. Wolford. “He’s a dragon. And dragons are magical. They can do things we normal humans can’t. It’s all some spiritual emanation from another dimension or something like that. I guess. Something. I dunno. I summon him.”
Juban was not available for comment, as he primarily exists in Mr. Wolford’s head. Still, in previous interviews with Mr. Wolford, he described how this Wiccan Sky Dragon would beat these evil Chemtrail planes.
“The Sky Dragon will attack all Chemtrail-producing aircraft in one magical bite, severing the aircraft in two, thus “saving the planet from the diabolical project to poison us with chemtrail gases and mystery goo like nitrogen, oxygen, CO2, coal ash, and even argon,” according to Mr. Wolford.
The Fazzler contacts US Airspace command in Colorado to confirm they’d spotted the Dragon. According to Commander Johnson, they have indeed spotted the magical flying creature.
“Yeah, sure,” said a somewhat smug and chuckling Commander Dylan Johnson of NORAD in a The Fazzler telephone interview. “We see dragons all the time. We’ll scramble fighters ASAP to deal with it. Just like we always do. These Chemtrail operations must not be interrupted.”
As for Mr. Wolford, he’s confident that his Chemtrail Sky Dragon will prevail.
“I am under no illusions that Juban has some challenges ahead,” said a more resigned Mr. Wolford looking up at the sky. “The powers that be, like the Illuminati and the Gates Foundation, will do everything they can to keep Juban from winning. But we’ve got magic on our side. What do they have? F-16s and 747s? They’re no match for the spiritual fighting powers of Juban.”
