23 and Me Now Measures Whether You Are an Asshole

Fremont, CA — Are you sick and tired of continually questioning whether or not you’re an asshole? The widely used DNA testing business 23 and Me has lately introduced a whole new function that may determine whether or not a person is an asshole.

According to a statement released by the company, the new tool functions by analyzing your DNA to search for a recently discovered “asshole gene.” This gene has been associated with characteristics such as a lack of empathy, entitlement, and selfishness.

Elon Musk’s Neurolink company accidentally discovered this gene after analyzing his saliva. At first, Musk denied having the asshole gene, blaming it on “bots,” Democrats, and the FBI. He later ran a poll on Twitter asking whether he should admit to being an asshole. After 83% answered yes, he had to acknowledge his assholedom.

Bethany Milbright, the chief spokesperson for 23 and Me, said, “We are aware that being an asshole may cause numerous problems in both your personal and professional lives.” “Because of this, we couldn’t be more thrilled to provide this brand-new service, which can assist individuals in better comprehending their actions and subsequently bringing about desired improvements.”

So how does it work? You only need to order a kit from 23 and Me, produce a saliva sample, and then wait for the findings. You should expect an email with your results within a few weeks. The email will include an “asshole score” that ranges from 0% to 100%. A score of 0 indicates that you are virtually perfect, while a 100 indicates that you are a complete and utter monster.

But hold on, there’s much more to it! 23 and Me will not only give you a score based on how much of an asshole you are, but it will also give you individualized advice on changing your behavior. A few examples of these are taking a moment to pause and breathe deeply before reacting to a situation, actively listening to the perspectives of others, and cultivating empathy.