Alta Sierra Man Swears He Spotted Bigfoot

Grainy Photo taken by Mr. Bradenshauer.
Grainy Photo taken by Mr. Bradenshauer.

Alta Sierra, CA — Keith Bradenshauer of Alta Sierra swears he spotted Bigfoot Saturday night along Norlene Drive on his way back from making a payment on his Check Cashing Service advance.

“I was driving with the wife and the kids when I looked over and I saw this huge furry creature down at the pond at the corner of Lawrence,” said an exhausted Bradenshauer. “I slammed on the brakes causing everyone on the car to lunge forward. But the creature, I mean Bigfoot, didn’t move. He was standing there looking at a pine tree. Wild.”

According to his wife, Keith loves all kinds of cryptozoology phenomena and alien abduction conspiracies. He’s been known to watch every single show on the SciFi channel and he has a filing cabinet in the upstairs office crammed full of newspaper clipping and photographs.

“He watches all those shows on secret animals and monsters, ” said Darcie Bradenshauer. “He’s got several theories on ancient civilizations as well. But his passion is Bigfoot.”

Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, not Bigfoot.
Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, not Bigfoot.

Bigfoot, also known as Sasquatch, is the name given to a cryptid ape- or hominid-like creature that some people believe inhabits forests, mainly in the Pacific Northwest region of North America. Bigfoot is usually described as a large, hairy, bipedal humanoid. Not to be confused with former self-described mastermind of the attacks of 9/11 Khalid Sheikh Mohammed.

“Look, after I dropped the kids off, and smoked some fine North San Juan Ridge Girl Scout Cookie,” continued Mr. Bradenshauer, ” I drove back to Lawrence and Norlene and took several pictures of this creature. It’s totally not a bear or a 9/11 terrorist.”

 

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Randall 'fink' Finkelsteinhttps://www.broadstreetbeacon.com
Fink is a man of many words, and many web links. He likes to argue and seldom loses. Mostly because he’s well informed. And somewhat gassy.

More from author

4 COMMENTS

Related posts

Advertisment

Latest posts

Ten Things You Can Do with All the Toilet Paper You’ve Hoarded

With the East Coast port strike resolved and no shortage of toilet paper in sight, many Americans are now stuck with a surplus of panic-bought TP. But don’t worry! From building cozy TP forts to crafting DIY wedding dresses, here are ten hilarious and creative ways to make the most of your toilet paper stash.

Trump Promises to Make ‘Mr. Twitter’ Press Secretary if Elected

In true Trump fashion, he’s shaking up the White House again, this time by replacing the press secretary with Twitter! Or as Trump calls it, “Mr. Twitter" in his quest for “government efficiency,” Trump’s next big idea involves tweets, emojis, and Musk’s downsizing magic.

Iranian Leadership’s Sony PlayStations Reportedly Exploding

Iranian officials’ PlayStations are reportedly exploding, leaving the ruling class grappling with a new “crisis” while citizens endure far worse hardships. Whether it's Israeli sabotage or just bad wiring, the explosions highlight the absurd disparity between the elite and everyday Iranians. Spoiler: most Iranians don’t even know what a PlayStation 5 is.