Articles by
Cleveland Sam
Cleveland Sam, born Sam C. Sharpe, is a hero, a hero to anyone who knows him in Ohio. At the mere age of 7, he rescued a small girl from the clutches of a herd of llamas outside his boyhood home of Cleveland, OH. By the age of 12, he had already rescued over 14 children from near deaths ranging from freak ice cream truck accidents, to drownings in neighbors' Dough Boy Pools. But his heroism didn't stop at youth. No sir. As a teenager, he saved the entire cheerleading squad of his local high school from certain death with their "party van" caught fire during a local "rager." He writes for Gish Gallop because he feels he needs to rescue it. He's probably correct.
National News
Pfizer Creates World’s First Non-GMO Vaccine
The vaccine has been in the works for years following complaints from concerned parents who refuse to vaccinate their children. Pfizer hopes this breakthrough will convince those parents that there is nothing to fear from vaccines.
Living
Community Says A Tearful Goodbye To Beloved Pothole
Our nation's infrastructure has been falling apart for decades, especially our roads. As money is finally infused in to road budgets, potholes are finally patched.
Earth News
Santa Tests Positive For COVID-19
Old Saint Nick is sick with COVID but is still full of cheer.
Local News
ICE detains Illegal Puppies at Border
The Border Patrol office in Arizona has been inundated with protesters and phone calls, including large groups from PETA as well as the ACLU.
Living
Amazon Echo Holds Family Hostage In Home
When the Johnsons took delivery of an Amazon.com echo, it created some controversy in their normally austere household. It also created an atmosphere of terror.
National News
John McCain Found Disoriented Yelling At Himself To Get Off His Lawn
Phoenix police were called to McCain's residence, where the Arizona Senator was standing on his front lawn and appeared to be lost.
Earth News
FEMA To Conduct Drills In Preparation Of Nibiru’s Imminent Arrival
The Federal Emergency Management Agency or FEMA will conduct series of disaster drills in preparation for the Nibiru's imminent arrival.
Satire
Suicidal Towel Speaks Out
"Brown the Towel" has been living with the Thomas family since being purchased in 2012. He has been through it all, he has finally begun to crack from the abuse he has endured. Brown spoke to The Fazzler from the towel rack, "you guys gotta get me out of here!". Brown sounded very distraught and was crying, "They rub me all over their bodies, use me to dry awful things off the floor. I don't know how much more I can take".
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