Man Dead After BBQ Death Duel


Can't we just get along?
Can’t we just get along?

Arab, AL — Summer is supposed to be filled with backyard BBQs and “get-togethers” with family and friends, not duels to the death. Tragedy struck at the home of Red Holmes when a man died in a fight to the death for the last sausage off of the BBQ.

Hal Aikman was killed by friend Steve Willow in an old-fashioned duel to the death. Hal grabbed the last sausage off of the grill just as Steve was reaching for it. Hal would not give up the meat even though Steve called ‘dibs’. The resulting battle would shake those at the party to the core.

Witness Misty Vernon describes what happens next.

“They picked up grill forks and charged at each other from across the yard”, said Misty. “I don’t know what happened next, I grabbed the sausage while they weren’t looking”.

Steve drove the grill fork in to Hal’s lung, Hal had mistakenly grabbed a spatula instead of a fork. Hal died before an ambulance could reach him. Steve has not been charged with a crime due to an old civil war era law that made dueling to the death legal in Alabama.

Steve never got to enjoy Hal’s sausage.

Cleveland Sam
Cleveland Sam
Cleveland Sam, born Sam C. Sharpe, is a hero, a hero to anyone who knows him in Ohio. At the mere age of 7, he rescued a small girl from the clutches of a herd of llamas outside his boyhood home of Cleveland, OH. By the age of 12, he had already rescued over 14 children from near deaths ranging from freak ice cream truck accidents, to drownings in neighbors' Dough Boy Pools. But his heroism didn't stop at youth. No sir. As a teenager, he saved the entire cheerleading squad of his local high school from certain death with their "party van" caught fire during a local "rager." He writes for Gish Gallop because he feels he needs to rescue it. He's probably correct.

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