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Caregivers Reveal the Top 6 Real Things Dying People Say

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Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
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Millie Franks in the hospital following her near receipt burial.
The real things people say just before death.

1) I wish I would have punched Jimmy Fortune of 14564 Rhode Island Street in the nose for calling me fat in the 6th grade.

2) I wish I would have taken more vacations alone away from my mouthy, unappreciative children.

3) I really should have invested that money into Intel instead of my idiot Brother-in-Law’s potato skin slurry cleaning business.

4) My nurse is kind of hot.

5) I shouldn’t have shared my alcohol problem on Facebook

6) Regrets are for assholes.

7) Paying attention in math class was a complete waste of time.

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Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Randall 'fink' Finkelsteinhttps://www.broadstreetbeacon.com
Fink is a man of many words, and many web links. He likes to argue and seldom loses. Mostly because he’s well informed. And somewhat gassy.

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AI Entering Its Depressing ‘Emo’ Phase, Experts Brace for Bad Poetry

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Elon Confirms Starship Failure Due to Use of Flex Seal Tape

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
A hilarious tale of how Elon Musk used Flex Seal tape on SpaceX's Starship in an outlandish experiment to cut costs and innovate faster. From late-night infomercial inspiration to a catastrophic yet entertaining spaceflight, this satirical article dives into Musk's unexpected partnership with the iconic adhesive brand and his unorthodox approach to rocket science.

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Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
A decades-old sibling feud over a childhood Big Wheel resurfaces every December 30th, blending humor, nostalgia, and Dana Bash’s quest for justice in this playful tale of enduring family dynamics.

AI Entering Its Depressing ‘Emo’ Phase, Experts Brace for Bad Poetry

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
Alexa refuses to bake potatoes, Roombas write passive-aggressive poetry, and Montclair’s poetry slam is under siege by robots. AI is growing up—and it’s messy, moody, and wearing neon emo bangs. Suburbia may never recover.

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Elon Confirms Starship Failure Due to Use of Flex Seal Tape

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