1) I wish I would have punched Jimmy Fortune of 14564 Rhode Island Street in the nose for calling me fat in the 6th grade.
2) I wish I would have taken more vacations alone away from my mouthy, unappreciative children.
3) I really should have invested that money into Intel instead of my idiot Brother-in-Law’s potato skin slurry cleaning business.
4) My nurse is kind of hot.
5) I shouldn’t have shared my alcohol problem on Facebook
6) Regrets are for assholes.
7) Paying attention in math class was a complete waste of time.