Food
Trump Blames the Price of Eggs in Gaza on The Biden Administration
In a bewildering rally speech, Trump accused the Biden Administration of causing skyrocketing egg prices in Gaza, linking it to Big Mac inflation, leaving supporters and pundits scrambling to make sense of his global food economics.
Alternative
Tim Hortons Installs Canadian Space Arm at Ottawa Location
Tim Hortons has unveiled a surprising new addition to its flagship Ottawa location: the Canadarm. Known for its crucial roles on the Space Shuttle and International Space Station, this iconic piece of Canadian engineering will now be serving coffee and donuts to delighted patrons. Dubbed the "Timbitsarm," this futuristic barista promises to bring a touch of zero-gravity magic to the everyday coffee experience, making morning routines in Ottawa more extraordinary than ever.
Food
Yellowstone To Open Joe Rogan’s Darwin Adventures
The National Park Service, in conjunction with Bermuda-based vacation destination company BrightStar Adventures Limited has announced the nation's first "interactive wildlife petting zoo" nestled in West Yellowstone National Park.
Food
Biden and Trump Agree to Debate at Fort Wayne Sizzler
In an unprecedented political move, Joe Biden and Donald Trump will hold their next debate at Fort Wayne's Sizzler, amidst the nostalgic décor of the 1970s. As Biden articulates his points, Trump, embodying the informal setting, casually reaches for a snack from the iconic salad bar—a visual metaphor for the unexpected and unconventional nature of this political showdown.
Editorial
McDonald’s Bids Farewell to Epstein Island’s Last Golden Arches Amid Controversial Legacy
The McDonald’s on Epstein Island has shuttered its windows for good, marking the end of what the company now refers to as a "misguided adventure in international franchising." The closure comes amidst a whirlwind of controversy and a belated corporate acknowledgment that some locations, no matter how potentially profitable, are better left un-McTouched.
Food
Origins of Funky Smell at Sacramento Goodwill Yet to Be Found
The unmistakable funk wafting through the aisles of a local Goodwill has left shoppers wrinkling their noses in disgust and curiosity. Despite a thorough investigation, the source of the smell remains as elusive as a bargain in peak thrifting season.
Food
Amazon.com Pantry to Offer Livestock
Amazon.com announced late Friday afternoon that it planned to use its popular "Prime Pantry" service to start shipping Livestock directly to consumers.
Food
How to Make Fucking Refried Beans, by Loretta Splitair
Your parenting guilt is easily fixed with the following recipe that not only your children will love, but it makes a kick-ass pot of refried beans.
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