Art
Confederate States of America: Ordinances and Causes of Secession
Often you will hear people in the Southern States proclaim that the American Civil War was not about slavery, but "State's Rights." Please note all the mentions of slavery in their own documents.
Food
Study: Bacon Can Prevent Heart Attacks
A longitudinal study by the Palo Alto-based Rundex Family Foundation sponsored by the Bacon Processors of America or BPA has suggested that eating as much as 1lb of cured, processed bacon per day might prevent a heart attack.
Music
Religious Groups Celebrate The End of Black Sabbath
As the final ear-bleeding refrains of Paranoid came to a close at Birmingham’s Genting Arena, Christians around the world breathed a collective sigh of relief. After nearly a half century of turning America’s youth onto the occult, heavy drug use and sexual perversion, it finally signaled The End of Black Sabbath.
Art
Priapic Environmentalist Bragging about the Size of His Prius
He wants you to look at the size of his Prius.
Food
How To Ripen an Avocado By Shoving It Up Your Ass, by Loretta Splittair
If you have a love/hate relationship with avocados like I do, stick around. I have a tip that will not only help you with unripe avocados, but also make you the talk of the dinner table, of your asshole friends on Facebook or whatever.
Art
Massive Trump Statue Erected in North Korea
Former President Trump admires North Korea's flattery.
Living
ISIS Fighters to Perform in Branson, Missouri
The Syrian band ISIS Fighters will perform at the Silver Dollar City amusement park this coming weekend.
Food
How to Roast a Fucking Whole Chicken, by Loretta Splitair
Question: How do you scare a Millennial?
Answer: Tell them s/he has to butcher a whole chicken.
Now I'm not talking about going out to your coop, finding an asshole hen or rooster and cutting that animal's head off, followed by a plucking.
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