Living

In a confounding turn of events, Home Depot, refuge of the suburban handyman, now peddles rainbow-hued 2x4s, dubbed PridePlanks, in select West Coast locations. As outraged traditionalists gasp in horror, Zoomers revel in the chromatic wonder. Meanwhile, a bridge forms between conservative shoppers and exploited migrant workers, united in their bewilderment. Progress, as it seems, marches on, leaving a trail of disgruntled bigots in its wake.

Cisplatin Schweitzer of Dayton, Ohio is the man you've never heard about, but chances are you've ingested one of his drugs.

New revelations from an old "friend" of Vice President Mike Pence claim that the now ultra-conservative, evangelical Christian was a closet fan of the 1980s heavy metal band Iron Maiden.

An area rabbit has become extremely bored after listening to 44 year old Jamie Andrews entire Duran Duran music collection. His Rabbit "Vampire" has be Mr. Andrews' companion for over 2 years and up until this point, considered herself a "music eclectic."

What does toothpaste and mass extinction have in common? More than you think!

The Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta, Georgia have linked excessive masturbation to blindness.

According to renowned alternative medicine proponent Dr. Joseph Mercola, pop star Joni Mitchell has been cured of Morgellons Disease after a 15 month treatment using a variety of products purchased from his his website Mercola.com.

Rogan attended a premiere at a small theater in the LA suburb of Ontario. The event was attended by over 100 gay men who had apparently gotten the wrong message.