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Trader Joe’s to Offer Child Adoptions

Trader Joe's, one of the largest privately held specialty grocery stores in the United States, has announced plans to offer child adoptions at select locations around California.

Mattel Goes Nuclear: Toy Company Releases Dangerous DIY Power Plant Kit!

The kit allows families to build their own miniature nuclear power plant in the comfort of their own homes, complete with instructions and a small amount of radioactive material to fuel the reactor.

E! Entertainment Cancels ‘Selfies with the Kardashians’ After Two Episodes

Executive Producer Ryan Seacrest (b. 1974 Ryan Epstein) said he was disappointed that the E! Entertainment Network failed to pick up his latest show Selfies with the Kardashians, and criticized the television network for "not giving it a real chance."

Home Depot Targets Zoomers with PridePlanks Rainbow Lumber

In a confounding turn of events, Home Depot, refuge of the suburban handyman, now peddles rainbow-hued 2x4s, dubbed PridePlanks, in select West Coast locations. As outraged traditionalists gasp in horror, Zoomers revel in the chromatic wonder. Meanwhile, a bridge forms between conservative shoppers and exploited migrant workers, united in their bewilderment. Progress, as it seems, marches on, leaving a trail of disgruntled bigots in its wake.

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