Food
Bob’s Big Boy Arrested for Loitering
Big Boy claims he's a victim of a kidnapping. Area police claim something different.
Living
Dove Releases Soap Dispenser Products For “Washing Your Asshole”
The United Kingdom-base Dove announced today a new line of soap dispenser products specifically designed to clean your butt hole. The new product, called Dove Real Clean, is targeted at the growing "anus grooming" market.
Living
Tesla Introduces Retro Line of Malibus Featuring AM Radios
Tesla is making history again with its new line of retro electric cars. Featured here is their version of the 1982 Chevrolet Malibu.
Living
Elon Musk to Relaunch TV’s The Love Boat…in Space
Telsa and SpaceX super genius Elon Musk plans on relaunching the popular 1970s and 80s American drama comedy The Love Boat.
Earth News
Area Delivery Man Unphased by Billionaire’s Deaths
Delivery man Jeff Hanks, busy delivering eccentric edibles to Marin County's wealthiest, remains unmoved by recent submersible disaster claiming five billionaires' lives. His main concern? The edibility of his forgotten sandwich. As billionaires met a deep-sea end, Hanks continues his rounds, tackling steep driveways and 'No Deliveries' signs.
Living
Unitarians Pick Willem DaFoe As Their Version of Jesus Christ
The Unitarian Universalist Association has made a bold move to broaden its appeal.
Art
Sesame Street Announces New Transgender Character
The Sesame Workshop, formerly known as the Children's Television Workshop, announced that its flagship program Sesame Street will feature its first transgender character for the 2019 season.
Food
Area Man Grows Giant Hairy Cock
Walter Truman is primarily an egg farmer in Camptonville, but in an attempt to make a better layer he also breeds chickens.
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