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Caltech Physicist: Rock N’ Roll Actually Euphemism For Fornication

According to CalTech astrophysicist Dr. Tral Aldrich, there is a distinct possibility that the popular form of music known as 'Rock N' Roll' is really just a euphemism for fornication.

Nevada City Woman Smudges House

A Nevada City woman has smudged her house in hopes of removing any "bad energy" left by the previous owners. Beverly "Indica" Anderson recently "smudged" her home on Orchard Street after she believed that the previous occupants deposited negative vibes into the home.

Noam Chomsky Fans Boycotting Lagunitas Beer for Featuring Michel Foucault on Bottles

Fans of Noam Chomsky are frothing at the mouth, calling for a boycott of Lagunitas IPA Beer for featuring Michel Foucault on its bottles. The "sudsy skirmish" is a tongue-in-cheek reference to the famous Chomsky-Foucault debate of 1971, leading to a battle of the brews that has some academics hopping mad. With critics contending that the beer has "no inherent nature," and rumors of a rival "Chomskyan Cherry Stout," the heady climax of this brewing controversy leaves readers pondering the profound connection between beer and the nature of humanity, all served up with a side of linguistic lagers and philosophical puns.

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