Bernie Sanders Considered for Upcoming Star Trek Series
Conservatives, Liberals, and Pink Floyd Fans Unite to Ban Ringo Starr’s “You’re Sixteen”
Nation’s First Dog Diagnosed with Autism
Rush to Release Long-lost Disco Album
Area Hardware Employee Skillfully Avoids Eye Contact
Recent Austin Transplant Saddened to Learn He’s Now in Texas
97% Chance of Contracting Herpes at Burning Man
Tucker Carlson Finally Confesses to His Unusual Cocaine Habit
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