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2.5 Mile Comet to Impact Local Man’s Thoughts

Playing off recent reports that a super-comet is scheduled to impact Earth in the same time frame, Mr. Wolford wanted to stress to the largely disinterested and sometimes nervous crowd that this calamitous event was really about him.

ISIS Targets George Takei’s Facebook Account

The Islamic Group Islamic State of Iraq and Syria or ISIS has announced its intentions to attack George Takei's Facebook page. On October 16 the ISIS militant group posted a "warning" video informing the infidels of America that they should fear for their Facebook likes for Mr. Takei.

Julian Assange Mistakenly Blamed For Syrian Chemical Attack

A disturbing report released early this week that Wikileaks founder Julian Assange was responsible for the recent chemical attacks in Syria has been debunked by Snopes.com.

Conspiracy Theorist: Bend, Oregon Doesn’t Exist

North San Juan resident, part-time chemtrail researcher and amateur ionizing radiation hobbyist Skyy Wolford announced to a somewhat disinterested crowd out in front of the Sierra Super Stop that Bend, Oregon is an elaborate hoax and does not exist.

The United States Responds to Mysterious Chinese Balloon

White House Press Secretary, Karine Jean-Pierre, says the intention behind this move was to ease the tension and show the world that the US government has a sense of humor.

Fukushima Radiation Detected in North San Juan, CA

North San Juan resident, part-time chemtrail researcher and amateur ionizing radiation hobbyist Skyy Wolford announced to a somewhat disinterested crowd that two of his three Geiger counters were registering abnormally high levels of radiation.

David Bowie’s Ashes to be Carried By North Korean Rocket

A spokesman for Mainman productions, David Bowie's production company, has said that rock star's ashes will be carried by a Rodong-1 rocket into space later this month.

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