National News

Mitch McConnell froze mid-speech, leading many to speculate that he was downloading the latest GOP talking points. While the media scrambled to provide anemic coverage, viewers were left wondering if the senator was buffering for new anti-Biden lines.

Rumors of new policies by Senator JD Vance send a small town into chaos, with locals fearing their beloved pets are next in line. As panic spreads, residents brace for a fictional "Anti-Feline Task Force," highlighting the power of gossip and fear.

A surgical report reveals that Donald Trump's brains were blown out during an assassination attempt earlier this year, though no one seemed to notice. Now, his increasingly bizarre campaign trail rants include musings on Kamala Harris being raised by werewolves and windmills attacking liberals. Is Trump the future? Or just missing his mind?

The new Reagan biopic has reportedly been sabotaged by the Deep State, a powerful force that has long suppressed films promoting conservative heroes. Linking its downfall to past movies like The Passion of the Christ and Sound of Freedom, this investigation reveals how the Deep State has meddled in everything from The Last Temptation of Christ to The Beatles’ sudden fall from grace.

During a visit to Arlington National Cemetery, Donald Trump reportedly signed several tombstones, claiming it was at the request of grieving families. His campaign insists the act was meant to honor the deceased, while critics accuse Trump of turning a sacred site into a campaign prop. The incident, involving Section 60, has sparked outrage and disbelief.

RFK Jr. has made a shocking claim that he smoked chemtrails in the 1980s, adding to his growing list of bizarre confessions. From communicating telepathically with dolphins to convincing a bear cub he was its mother, his revelations leave the public both bewildered and amused. As he endorses Trump, it’s clear RFK Jr. is in a world all his own.

Elon Musk outlines his five-step method for making people like you by suing them. From asserting dominance with litigation to redefining free speech as agreeing with him, Musk’s guide explains how lawsuits can be an effective tool in building relationships, inspired by his own legal battles against advertisers who left his platform, X.

At a Tesla Gigafactory expansion event in Austin, TX, funded by government grants and tax breaks, Elon Musk warned of a looming communist threat from Democrats, particularly Vice President Kamala Harris. Despite benefiting heavily from public funds, Musk condemned government interference while ironically expanding his empire with government support. Donald Trump chimed in, supporting Musk's crusade against this fictional "communist" scourge.