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Study: Minecraft Causes Autism

A 2 year study conducted by the Palo Alto, CA-based Rundex Family Foundation and sponsored by the Family Research Council (FRC) has determined that the popular childhood game Minecraft might cause Autism.

USA Paralympic Team Refuses to Stand During Star Spangled Banner!

A controversy erupted over the weekend when the United States Paralympics Team refused to stand for the National Anthem during their annual fall tryouts.

Ron Desantis Signs Bill to Store Nuclear Waste at Disney World

Florida's Governor DeSantis signs the "Magic Kingdom Meltdown Act," allowing nuclear waste storage at Disney World. Goofy, now the head of the Radioactive Barrel Brigade, accidentally spills barrels of waste near Cinderella Castle. DeSantis remains optimistic, suggesting new radioactive attractions for the park while brushing off safety concerns.

Skinny Jeans Fail to Subvert the Dominant Paradigm

Area hipster and self-proclaimed postmodern social justice warrior David "Riddle Me" Shoreston has given up his attempts to "subvert the dominant paradigm" with several deliberate act of protest which include his skinny jeans.

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