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Wolf Blitzer Suicide Blamed on Shocking MAD Magazine Memo

Pioneering news publication MAD magazine has admitted to "making some things up" during the past 65 years. The news, which was leaked to the press this week by a former disgruntled employee, sent shock waves through the news business and has resulted in the suicide deaths of two journalists.

BLM Sends Rip Taylor to Decorate Occupied Oregon Building

The Bureau of Land Management of BLM announced in a prepared press release that they had no other choice but to order American actor and comedian Rip Taylor to decorate the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge.

Area Family Circumcises Their Pet Dog

The new procedure is aimed to ease the minds of families wanting to get rid of the "red rocket" that could raise some uncomfortable questions from young children.

Roy Moore’s Appearance as Santa at Alabama Mall Raises Concerns

Christmas shoppers at Fairfield's Western Hills Mall were surprised today by the appearance of Senatorial Candidate Roy Moore dressed as Santa Claus. According to a Moore campaign spokesperson, the controversial Republican wanted to show how Malls across Alabama welcome him.

Jamba Juice Diet Leads to Type 2 Diabetes

Area man Jason Dubrey is now recovering from a month-long diet of Jamba Juice. Dubrey, 34, has been watching several online videos about weight loss and juice diets and decided last month to try a "30-day Juice fast."

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