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National News
National News
Colonial Williamsburg Sacked By Iroquois Tribe
This past Friday Williamsburg was stunned when a Native American raiding party attacked the Colonial City, killing seven and wounding as many as twelve.
National News
Cattle Form Controversial ‘AntiFarm Action’ To Protest Area Ranchers
Cattle in Nebraska have formed a coalition against being bred and slaughtered for food. They call themselves Antifarm and are backed by PETA and funded by the George Soros Foundation, which has recently received a mysterious $18 billion cash infusion.
Local News
Study: Media Coverage of Mass Murders Is Fucking Depressing
A 4 year study by the Palo Alto-based Rundex Family Foundation of major television broadcasts and newspaper outlets has found that continual coverage of mass shootings and murders is leads the population at large to feel very sad.
National News
City of Cleveland Reports Dumpster Shortage While Republican Convention Is In town
City officials in Cleveland this morning were alarmed to find they are facing a massive dumpster shortage. Early data points to the shortage being directly related to the 2016 Republican National Convention being held in Cleveland.
National News
Weather Channel To Include Mass Shooting Forecasts
Late this week, the Weather Channel announced that it would start including hourly, daily, and weekly mass shooting forecasts in the local weather segments they broadcast.
Local News
Local Bloggers Wish to Return to a Simpler “No Child Left Behind” Time
The local Nevada County blogosphere is actively debating the merits or vices of the Common Core education standards.
National News
Critics Question Trump’s New Christian Stigmata
After a successful campaign tour through the Lone Star state, Presidential Donald Trump surprised his Dallas supporters by revealing that he has a Christian Stigmata on his right hand. As he left the podium, a collective gasp arose from the audience as he raised his right hand clearly revealing a Stigmata.
National News
Classic Comedy ‘The Jerk’ To Be Remade As ‘The Asshole,’ Starring Donald Trump
Universal Pictures has decided to go forward with a plan to update the Jerk and center it around Trump, giving it a new title, "The Asshole."
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