Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel Outlaws Gun Violence

Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel Outlaws Gun Violence. See here showing school children how not to operate a gun.
Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel Outlaws Gun Violence. See here showing school children how not to operate a gun.

Chicago, Il — The city of Chicago has been riddled with gun violence. The city has experienced the bloodiest 4th of July holiday in its history with over 100 people shot and 15 deaths. To date, Chicago has had 1,878 shootings and 353 deaths.

In a bold move Mayor Rahm Emanuel has decided to make gun violence illegal in Chicago. Anyone found guilty of shooting will receive harsher sentences, including a “serious timeout” according to Emanuel. The move is expected to curb shootings and bring the numbers back in line with national averages.

Chicago resident Greg Domina spoke to The Fazzler about the mayor’s move.

“I stand behind Mayor Emanuel, he really knows what is best for Chicago,” said Domina. “Mayor Emanuel made Chicago a sanctuary city, that has worked out well, so what if we lose federal funding. With this new law outlawing shootings, our police wont need the extra money.”

Chicago isn’t the first major city to outlaw shootings. The move has really turned around cities like Detroit, which has moved from 5th to 8th in murders per capita in the country.

Mayor Emanuel’s office released this statement to the media.

“With this historic move we will show the country that we are taking gun violence seriously. Let it be known to criminals, that any shootings will be investigated and you will be brought to justice. We have made our cities “timeout” room very uncomfortable, and we wont hesitate to put you in it.”

The Fazzler tried to speak to the cities criminal element, but were unable to get close enough to interview any of them due to the gunfire.

Cleveland Sam
Cleveland Sam
Cleveland Sam, born Sam C. Sharpe, is a hero, a hero to anyone who knows him in Ohio. At the mere age of 7, he rescued a small girl from the clutches of a herd of llamas outside his boyhood home of Cleveland, OH. By the age of 12, he had already rescued over 14 children from near deaths ranging from freak ice cream truck accidents, to drownings in neighbors' Dough Boy Pools. But his heroism didn't stop at youth. No sir. As a teenager, he saved the entire cheerleading squad of his local high school from certain death with their "party van" caught fire during a local "rager." He writes for Gish Gallop because he feels he needs to rescue it. He's probably correct.

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