Satirist Accidentally Backs Into Gay Joke

Grass Valley, CA — A local satirist has made an unfortunate and somewhat painful mistake of backing into a gay joke. Area satirist, amateur beer brewer, and token Millennial Roy Riffle was making idle conversation with patrons at Caroline’s Coffee on Auburn Street when he stepped out of line.

“I honestly didn’t know what I had said, but everyone started giggling,” said Mr. Riffle recalling the incident. “I dunno, it’s always like that with me. All I said was ‘Man, this test is so hard’ and something like ‘I can’t even think straight.’ I don’t get it.”

Many at the popular coffee shop declined to discuss the incident, most claiming that it was not appropriate and an out-moded thing to do. However, several said it was not meant to demean anyone, and that’s “just how Roy is.”

“We all love Roy, and he’s great to have around,” said Caroline’s regular Daphne Dabbles sipping on a soy latte. “He’s always saying funny things like that. And he never seems to know he’s funny. That’s what makes it funnier.”

Still, others were more philosophic about Mr. Riffle’s gaff and its impact.

“Being gay is fine. Being bisexual is fine. Being transgender is fine. Being straight is fine. Being a unicorn is fine. Being anything is fine,” commented Gary Frank across the street at the gas station. “Want to know what’s not fine? Wearing crocs. And Roy loves his Crocs. That guy needs to grow up.”

Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair
Loretta Splitair is Gish Gallop's Media and Cultural Editor. She has written widely including publications such as Rolling Stone, The Atlantic and the Lady's Home Journal where she hosts a regular column on the ravages of Billy Joel's music entitled, Billy Joel is a Piece of Shit. Loretta is married to her second husband after her first died protesting railway expansion in Kansas. Please do not ask her about it.

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