Malibu, CA — Singer, songwriter, producer and former MAGA twaddle Kayne West told reporters today that he was able to single-handedly convince the raging wildfire that swept through the Malibu hillside to avoid his home. Still donning a red MAGA despite recent rumors regarding his displeasure with the President, Kayne who recently changed his name to the letter ‘B’, spoke with a Los Angeles-based television crew in front of his home.
“There was something about when I put this hat on it made me feel like Superman,” said B [Kayne] referring to how he stopped the fire by speaking to it. “I’m a Superman, that’s my favorite superhero, it’s a Superman cape for me.”
When asked what he told the fire to stop, B beamed.
“My dad and my mom separated, so there was not a lot of male energy in my home,” continued B, “and also I’m married to a family where, you know, there’s not a lot of male energy. It’s beautiful though. So I just looked at the fire and said, ‘you’re ain’t gonna motherfucking come anywhere near here.’ And it just backed off.”
However according to numerous reports, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West hired private firefighters to save home from the Woolsey fire and it was not magical foul language that saved their mansion. The team of firefighters reportedly dug ditches and created a fire break, which helped save the couple’s home from being touched by the flames.
Neither Ms. Kardashian nor B could be reached for further comment, although both sent out tweets asking people to send thoughts and prayers for their neighbors who weren’t as lucky.
