Pat Robertson Blames Burning Man For Hurricanes

Atlanta, GA — Hurricanes have brought devastation to the Caribbean Islands and the Gulf Coast and now it has its sights set on the U.S. mainland. New storms are expected to hit Florida and move inland through the Southeastern U.S. The storm, including the recent Hurricane Florence, has brought out speculation from many that the hurricanes are God’s punishment on man.

Pat Robertson, the Southern Baptist minister made this statement last night on his program The 700 Club.

“I’m telling you folks, these hurricanes are God’s punishment for the heathens at that Burning Man Festival. All the sex and drugs are a slap in the Lord’s face and we are paying the price for it now!”

Burning Man is an annual gathering where a small city is erected in the Black Rock Desert in Nevada. The gathering is known for the artistic expression of its attendees. Mr. Robertson is now facing the backlash from the 70,000 people who attend Burning Man, as well as their supporters. Burning Man attendee Sanders Goloski spoke to The Fazzler about Robertson’s comments.

“It is ridiculous, that guy is the biggest hypocrite in the world!” said Sanders. “Burning Man is full of love and acceptance, so what if I contracted an STD there.”

Many of Robertson’s loyal supporters have come to his defense, including Laura Swanson, she said, “those people have a one-way ticket to hell with all of their fornicating and drug use,” said Laura. “They need to repent their sins, maybe it will get this hurricane to change directions!”

Pat Robertson and his followers are planning to attend the next Burning Man to try to save the souls of those that attend the event.

“If we save enough souls there, we can prevent another disaster from happening again,” said Robertson.

Cleveland Sam
Cleveland Sam
Cleveland Sam, born Sam C. Sharpe, is a hero, a hero to anyone who knows him in Ohio. At the mere age of 7, he rescued a small girl from the clutches of a herd of llamas outside his boyhood home of Cleveland, OH. By the age of 12, he had already rescued over 14 children from near deaths ranging from freak ice cream truck accidents, to drownings in neighbors' Dough Boy Pools. But his heroism didn't stop at youth. No sir. As a teenager, he saved the entire cheerleading squad of his local high school from certain death with their "party van" caught fire during a local "rager." He writes for Gish Gallop because he feels he needs to rescue it. He's probably correct.

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