New York, NY — Scientists at the New York Stem Cell Foundation announced that they had accidentally grafted Robin Williams’ and Adolph Hitler’s DNA into one horrible mistake. According to insiders in our Brooklyn bureau, scientists at the esteemed New York Stem Cell Foundation accidentally mixed the DNA of Robin Williams and Adolph Hitler to disastrous results.
“We were very upset about Robin’s passing,” said lab Director Dr. James Gandolfberg, “I suppose he was on everyone’s mind. But one of the younger interns thought he’d play a prank and combine Robin and Hilter’s DNA. He wanted to create a funny, improvising dictator. But that’s not what happened.”
Human cloning is the creation of a genetically identical copy of a human. The term is generally used to refer to artificial human cloning, which is the reproduction of human cells and tissue. It does not apply to the natural conception and delivery of identical twins.
The hybrid Williams/Hitler clone, called “Whitler” by Foundation personnel, was neither funny nor hypnotically persuasive. Instead, the foundation created a nervous, fast-talking, ranting racist.
“Whitler was a nervous mess,” said an unidentified lab technician, “I thought he might tell funny jokes about the Holocaust or something. You know, completely inappropriate or something. But instead, he just frantically paced the floor and kept asking for more Jüden coffee. I have no idea what that meant.”
According to a spokesman for New York Stem Cell Foundation, disciplinary action was taken against the lab technician.
