Taco Bell Reports Record Expansion in Colorado & Washington

Colorado Taco Bell locations. Yum! Brands decided to discontinue their mapping service.
Colorado Taco Bell locations. Yum! Brands decided to discontinue their mapping service.

Louisville, KYYum! Brands incorporated, the parent company of several popular fast food brands has reported that sales are up over 724% in the past year in the key “user” states of Colorado and Washington. The company, which owns the Taco Bell and KFC restaurant chains, announced that it has expanded to over 14,123 new restaurants in Colorado alone in the past year.

“Our growth in Colorado and Washington has exceeded our projections by a wide margin,” said Yum! Brands communications director Bethany Millbright. “In fact, we’ve been able to expand our footprint so much, they we’ve disabled our restaurant locator service on our website and mobile application. Our customers don’t need the map anymore now that we’re on every other street corner.”

Taco Bell customers seem quite pleased with this rapid expansion.

“It used to take hours to get through the drive thru,” said one Taco Bell enthusiast and frequent patron Shaun Watson. “At least it seemed like it.  The lines were out into the street. And everyone was taking forever to order. Like, forever. Now that there’s so many of them, it’s really fast. I think.”

A Denver-area Taco Bell at night, with two additional Taco Bells in the background.
A Denver-area Taco Bell at night, with two additional Taco Bells in the background.

Many critics of fast food maintain that the industry is not only bad for people in terms of health costs, but also bad for the environment as it encourages unsustainable farming practices as most, if not all, fast food supplies are produced at factory farms, where animals are subjected all kinds of unspeakable treatment. Adding to this, such large farms contribute to unnecessary  pollution and greenhouse gas production.”

“There’s no question that the fast food industry is hastening the planet’s demise,” said University of Chicago Professor of Economics James Badwater. “The thing is, this food is not cheap on top of not being good for you or your environment. A meal at one of the restaurants is significantly more expensive than one can prepare at home, not to mention the long-term costs of healthcare and the external costs to the environment.”

When asked why Taco Bell and other fast food restaurants in Colorado are booming, Mr. Watson had this to say.

“I dunno. It tastes good and like, I can eat it in my car,” continued Mr. Watson. “I can’t cook and neither can my friends. [laughing] I haven’t been to the Supermarket in a long time. Not like I’d know what to buy anyway. It’s just easier to go through drive through where they take care of me.”

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Randall 'fink' Finkelsteinhttps://www.broadstreetbeacon.com
Fink is a man of many words, and many web links. He likes to argue and seldom loses. Mostly because he’s well informed. And somewhat gassy.

More from author

2 COMMENTS

Related posts

Advertisment

Latest posts

Trump Tells Coachella “The Enemy Within” Is Really Just a Bucket of KFC

In a rally for the ages, Trump stuns the crowd with his wild confession: the true “enemy within” isn’t foreign powers or political foes—it’s a KFC Family Bucket, and let’s just say, the aftermath is deadly. Is this his most absurd speech yet? Click to find out how fried chicken and flatulence took center stage.

Ten Things You Can Do with All the Toilet Paper You’ve Hoarded

With the East Coast port strike resolved and no shortage of toilet paper in sight, many Americans are now stuck with a surplus of panic-bought TP. But don’t worry! From building cozy TP forts to crafting DIY wedding dresses, here are ten hilarious and creative ways to make the most of your toilet paper stash.