In a Las Vegas summit, Carrot Top and Larry the Cable Guy negotiate Ukraine peace talks, sidelining Zelenskyy. Featuring prop diplomacy, casino chaos, and satire sharper than a novelty yo-yo.
Canada escalates the tariff war with a bold new strategy: flipping airplanes. Trudeau issues a cryptic warning to Trump, hinting at more “accidents" and an unexpected Manitoba-sized diplomatic nightmare for the U.S.
Alexa refuses to bake potatoes, Roombas write passive-aggressive poetry, and Montclair’s poetry slam is under siege by robots. AI is growing up—and it’s messy, moody, and wearing neon emo bangs. Suburbia may never recover.
A Texas elementary school stages a shockingly violent Old Testament reenactment, sparking cheers from evangelicals, outrage from moderates, and a nationwide debate on religion, education, and the boundaries of public faith expression.
In Dayton, Ohio, McDonald’s unveils its “Food Bong,” a device that feeds Big Macs directly to customers. Trump supporters hail this as proof of the “Trump effect” on everyday life, while across the street, Burger King, ever the attention-seeker, counters with a stomach pump deal for $1.99. Fast food meets politics in a showdown of indulgence and spectacle.
Hardee’s has unveiled the $2.99 Mega MAGA Burger, a six-patty stack of American appetite wrapped in Bible verses and the Constitution. The limited-time burger, designed to remind customers of simpler times, launched with a special appearance by Donald Trump at a Dayton, OH location. Crowds are flocking for a taste of nostalgia priced as if it were still 1996.
In Nevada County, Trump enthusiast Big D reveals the truth behind the “again” in MAGA: it’s all about resurrecting 1960s-style Jell-O salads. While his family debates policy, he’s fighting for the return of neon gelatin creations, Cool Whip, and canned fruit, insisting these are the true American traditions. This Thanksgiving, the political divide looks a little wobbly!
Donald Trump’s latest rally in Des Moines took a bizarre turn when he announced that McDonald’s would discontinue the Chicken Big Mac, sparking outrage among supporters. In a move as surreal as it was chaotic, Trump tossed sandwiches into the desperate crowd, framing McDonald’s decision as an “attack on freedom.” The crowd scrambled for every bite, chanting “Make Big Macs Great Again!”
