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McDonald’s Experimenting with “Food Bong” To Pump Big Macs into Drive Thru Customer’s Stomachs.

In Dayton, Ohio, McDonald’s unveils its “Food Bong,” a device that feeds Big Macs directly to customers. Trump supporters hail this as proof of the “Trump effect” on everyday life, while across the street, Burger King, ever the attention-seeker, counters with a stomach pump deal for $1.99. Fast food meets politics in a showdown of indulgence and spectacle.

Hardee’s Celebrates the Return of ‘American Appetite’ with the $2.99 Mega MAGA Burger

Hardee’s has unveiled the $2.99 Mega MAGA Burger, a six-patty stack of American appetite wrapped in Bible verses and the Constitution. The limited-time burger, designed to remind customers of simpler times, launched with a special appearance by Donald Trump at a Dayton, OH location. Crowds are flocking for a taste of nostalgia priced as if it were still 1996.

Local Trump Supporter Insists ‘Again’ in MAGA is About Resurrecting the Glory Days of Jell-O Salad, Not Policies or Politics

In Nevada County, Trump enthusiast Big D reveals the truth behind the “again” in MAGA: it’s all about resurrecting 1960s-style Jell-O salads. While his family debates policy, he’s fighting for the return of neon gelatin creations, Cool Whip, and canned fruit, insisting these are the true American traditions. This Thanksgiving, the political divide looks a little wobbly!

Rally Turns Violent as Trump Announces that McDonald’s is Discontinuing the Chicken Big Mac

Donald Trump’s latest rally in Des Moines took a bizarre turn when he announced that McDonald’s would discontinue the Chicken Big Mac, sparking outrage among supporters. In a move as surreal as it was chaotic, Trump tossed sandwiches into the desperate crowd, framing McDonald’s decision as an “attack on freedom.” The crowd scrambled for every bite, chanting “Make Big Macs Great Again!”

Donald Trump Claims “Haitian” Squirrel Ripped Off His Other Ear

Former President Donald Trump claims a “Haitian” squirrel attacked him, supposedly radicalized by Peanut, the New York squirrel recently seized by wildlife authorities. Trump’s supporters insist Peanut is proof of an anti-Trump squirrel uprising, fueling rumors of a “squirrel defense force” at Mar-a-Lago. Trump vows to “protect America from radical rodents”—even as the alleged squirrel roams free.

Trump Touts MAGA’s “Real Strength” of Big Muscles, Tight Lycra, and Sweet, Sweaty Patriotism

Trump leaned into macho rhetoric, celebrating 'big, powerful American men' and 'real strength' in terms reminiscent of a wrestling promo. His vivid praise of MAGA muscles and sweaty patriotism left some fans exchanging glances, and social media in stitches over the homoerotic irony

Trump Floats New Tariffs on Orange Chicken

First it was tech and steel, now it’s Orange Chicken? Trump’s latest tariff talk has diners across America worried about rising prices—again. After his 2018 tariffs led to unexpected inflation and higher food costs, what will this new push do to your wallet? Could we be headed for an Orange Chicken crisis? Read more about his latest 2024 campaign move!

Trump Tells Coachella “The Enemy Within” Is Really Just a Bucket of KFC

In a rally for the ages, Trump stuns the crowd with his wild confession: the true “enemy within” isn’t foreign powers or political foes—it’s a KFC Family Bucket, and let’s just say, the aftermath is deadly. Is this his most absurd speech yet? Click to find out how fried chicken and flatulence took center stage.

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