Food
Trump Suggests For New Tariffs On Orange Chicken
Trump casually mentioned that he was considering a sizable tariff on Orange Chicken.
Chemtrails
Area Psychic/Remote Viewer Sees Nothing Interesting
Area clairvoyant, spirit channeller and "remote viewer" Nico Mooney admitted to his friends this past week that he can indeed remote view phenomena all around the world, however what he sees is boring and uneventful.
Food
Soul Kitchen Closes, Saying Penn Valley Not a Good Fit
Penn Valley's Angel's Soul Kitchen restaurant is apparently dead on arrival. The newly-opened 'Soul Kitchen' felt obliged to shut its doors after only 24 minutes of operation. There may be hope, however.
Food
Annoying Orange Found Dead in Walnut Creek Whole Foods
The popular YouTube character "The Annoying Orange" has been found dead in a Walnut Creek, California Whole Foods grocery store.
Food
Area Cashier Not Fired for Licking Cantaloupe
SPD Grocery Store checkout clerk Megan Albright will not be terminated for "taste testing" customer Cantaloupes. Ms. Albright, who has worked for the highly-praised local grocery story for almost a year, has been using an unique method to test produce for freshness.
Art
Gwyneth Paltrow’s Gynecology MasterClass Breaks the Internet
All of the major Internet Service Providers announced plans to slow down Ms. Paltrow's controversial class in order to preserve network capacity.
Food
Chris Christie Closes Down Area Golden Corral
Christ Christie is back in the news today as reports came in from an area Golden Corral restaurant that the New Jersey governor had shut down the popular family-style buffet restaurant so he could dine in private.
Earth News
Monsanto Patents Potential Cancer-killing Cannabis Strains
Monsanto, the world's largest supplier of genetically modified seeds and other genetically modified organisms announced this week at its annual stockholders meeting that it had developed a strain of medical marijuana that seems to stop and in some cases reverse some forms of cancer.
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