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Republicans Unveil Bold New Plan: Deport Mass Shooters to Combat Fentanyl Crisis

Republican lawmakers propose a radical solution to America's mass shooting and fentanyl crises: deport mass shooters to fentanyl hotspots. The "Double Whammy Act of 2023" promises chaos to drug operations and relief for the US. Critics call it preposterous, but supporters see brilliance in this outlandish approach.

The Amazing Mr. Clean Magic Eraser Fails to Prevent Existential Crisis

A creeping and gnawing feeling that something isn't right continued its steady march for the 11th consecutive year as area woman Margaret Crowley failed to find enlightenment after purchasing the amazing and revolutionary Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.

MIT Scientists Successfully Clone Angus Young

Speaking at a press conference this afternoon at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) announced they have successfully cloned rock guitar legend, Angus Young.

Critics Applaud Best Buy’s New “Buy the Fucking Extended Warranty ‘Cause It’s Gonna Fail” Campaign

In what many are calling both a stroke of genius and "straight talk" marketing, critics across the country and applauding electronics retail giant Best Buy for their frank new marketing campaign called "Buy the Fucking Extended Warranty 'Cause It's Gonna Fail."

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