Former President Donald Trump claims a “Haitian” squirrel attacked him, supposedly radicalized by Peanut, the New York squirrel recently seized by wildlife authorities. Trump’s supporters insist Peanut is proof of an anti-Trump squirrel uprising, fueling rumors of a “squirrel defense force” at Mar-a-Lago. Trump vows to “protect America from radical rodents”—even as the alleged squirrel roams free.
Trump leaned into macho rhetoric, celebrating 'big, powerful American men' and 'real strength' in terms reminiscent of a wrestling promo. His vivid praise of MAGA muscles and sweaty patriotism left some fans exchanging glances, and social media in stitches over the homoerotic irony
First it was tech and steel, now it’s Orange Chicken? Trump’s latest tariff talk has diners across America worried about rising prices—again. After his 2018 tariffs led to unexpected inflation and higher food costs, what will this new push do to your wallet? Could we be headed for an Orange Chicken crisis? Read more about his latest 2024 campaign move!
In a rally for the ages, Trump stuns the crowd with his wild confession: the true “enemy within” isn’t foreign powers or political foes—it’s a KFC Family Bucket, and let’s just say, the aftermath is deadly. Is this his most absurd speech yet? Click to find out how fried chicken and flatulence took center stage.
With the East Coast port strike resolved and no shortage of toilet paper in sight, many Americans are now stuck with a surplus of panic-bought TP. But don’t worry! From building cozy TP forts to crafting DIY wedding dresses, here are ten hilarious and creative ways to make the most of your toilet paper stash.
Tom Joad stands in disbelief as his family’s struggle is transformed into a five-minute TikTok sensation. Their story, once defined by hardship and dignity, is now a viral meme, shared and forgotten in seconds. As the world scrolls past, Tom realizes that in this digital age, human suffering is nothing more than content for a blind and fleeting audience.
In Springfield, OH, Mittens the cat is under investigation for allegedly eating a Trump supporter after a heated debate over the 2020 election results. Outrage is sweeping certain political circles, with claims of a Democrat-led conspiracy involving weaponized pets. Meanwhile, sane locals are tired of the media circus and wonder when people will start focusing on real issues—like potholes.
Alex Jones is back with a crispy new conspiracy: Biden’s colluding with Big Chicken to keep 20-piece McNuggets over $10, as part of a sinister plot to control the masses through overpriced fast food. He warns of the rise of nuggets as currency and a looming sauce shortage. You thought the economy was complicated? Think again.
