National News
California’s Secret Plan to Turn Texas Blue
A secret document reveals California's plans to make America blue.
Food
McDonald’s Testing All-You-Can-Eat French Fries in Grass Valley
The Grass Valley McDonald's announced that it will be testing an "all-you-can-eat" French Fry bar starting on April 28th.
Alternative
A large pro-Trump armada was humiliated when the ANTIFA Navy sunk several of its ships.
Food
Study: Eating Pringles Raises Risk of Being Strangled by Bed Sheets
A 2 year study conducted by the Palo Alto, CA-based Rundex Family Foundation found that the popular potato and wheat-based snack food Pringles is Earth's most popular food.
Food
Burger King Preps 60,000 Mexican Replacement Robots
Burger King Corporation announced today that it plans on replacing its foreign born workers in all of its 7400 restaurants with foreign-built robots.
Food
Neighbor Attempts to Gain Friendship with Large Inedible Zucchinis
Grass Valley resident and home gardener Melba Felder decided it was time to be "neighborly" with the people on her street by sharing her large, overgrown, fibrous and mostly inedible Zucchini squashes with her Rhode Island Street neighbors.
Art
Finnegans Wake is an Impenetrable Piece of Crap
What's the difference between a pile of dog crap and Finnegan's Wake? You can avoid the dog crap by walking around it. I have to read and review Finnegan's Wake.
Living
Gary Busey to Marry Randy Quaid in Arkansas Ceremony
Gary Busey and Randy Quaid to tie the knot in Arkansas! From falling in love at a UFO convention to screaming movie lines as vows, this union proves love is not only blind but possibly insane. Expect tractor headlights, onion rings as wedding bands, and a piñata filled with conspiracy theories. Truly, a match made in tabloid heaven!
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