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Pfizer Creates World’s First Non-GMO Vaccine

The vaccine has been in the works for years following complaints from concerned parents who refuse to vaccinate their children. Pfizer hopes this breakthrough will convince those parents that there is nothing to fear from vaccines.

Community Says A Tearful Goodbye To Beloved Pothole

Our nation's infrastructure has been falling apart for decades, especially our roads. As money is finally infused in to road budgets, potholes are finally patched.

Oregon to Force Customers to Pump Gas

In the first change to laws that were put in place in 1951, the Oregon State Legislature has voted to abandon the requirement that only gasoline station attendants can pump gas, and require that its customers do it. The controversial bill passed both government houses and the governor has promised to sign it.

Wayne LaPierre Tragically Shoots and Kills Thoughts and Prayers

Law enforcement authorities in Virginia this morning announced that they'd responded to a 911 call late Wednesday night that came from the residence of NRA Executive Vice-President Wayne LaPierre. He tragically shot and killed "thoughts and prayers" on his property.

Noam Chomsky Tweets Unsuccessfully

Renown MIT linguistics professor and social media critic Noam Chomsky reluctantly entered the "Twitter-sphere" this week with somewhat disastrous results. The famous Linguistics Professor and darling of the political Left throughout the world has been critical of social media and in particular, Twitter.

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