Alex Jones is back with a crispy new conspiracy: Biden’s colluding with Big Chicken to keep 20-piece McNuggets over $10, as part of a sinister plot to control the masses through overpriced fast food. He warns of the rise of nuggets as currency and a looming sauce shortage. You thought the economy was complicated? Think again.
Think your flawless emails make you look professional? Think again! New AI detectors can now sniff out spellcheck use, labeling you as a digital cheater. Perfect grammar? Suspicious. Accurate spelling? Even worse. Time to let those typos shine, folks—before the AI comes for your perfectly punctuated prose and accuses you of “unnatural brilliance.”
A new poll by the Palo Alto, CA-based Rundex Family Foundation reveals 9 out of 10 Trump assassins would still support him in 2024. Trump, ever unfazed, claims, "I love my assassins," and ridicules Kamala Harris for lacking the same devotion from her potential assassins. Data scientist Robert Colvin reminds us, “The data doesn’t lie."
Mitch McConnell froze mid-speech, leading many to speculate that he was downloading the latest GOP talking points. While the media scrambled to provide anemic coverage, viewers were left wondering if the senator was buffering for new anti-Biden lines.
Rumors of new policies by Senator JD Vance send a small town into chaos, with locals fearing their beloved pets are next in line. As panic spreads, residents brace for a fictional "Anti-Feline Task Force," highlighting the power of gossip and fear.
A surgical report reveals that Donald Trump's brains were blown out during an assassination attempt earlier this year, though no one seemed to notice. Now, his increasingly bizarre campaign trail rants include musings on Kamala Harris being raised by werewolves and windmills attacking liberals. Is Trump the future? Or just missing his mind?
The new Reagan biopic has reportedly been sabotaged by the Deep State, a powerful force that has long suppressed films promoting conservative heroes. Linking its downfall to past movies like The Passion of the Christ and Sound of Freedom, this investigation reveals how the Deep State has meddled in everything from The Last Temptation of Christ to The Beatles’ sudden fall from grace.
