National News

Experts agree that shooting people is not satire or free speech.

Early Saturday morning the agribusiness giant Monsanto and buffet-style salad bar chain Souplantation announced that they would be joining forces to produce the world's first Round-Up Ready salad bar.

Following the lead of the New York City school system, the nation's largest, the upstart Sierra Nevada foothills community of Nevada City announced that its schools will observe the two most important Muslim holidays next school year.

Starting August 1, the TSA will hire former Guantanamo Bay detainees that were suspected of having ties to terrorism.

Following a Ted Cruz campaign event, as many as 20 young adults broke in a mass hysteria dance in front of the Mobile, Alabama downtown Catalyst Memorial Community Center. Although Senator Cruz did not speak at the event, several of his celebrity supporters did including Colorado firebrand Christian Fundamentalist pastor Kevin Swanson who finished the rally with a call to "put all gays into sackcloth and cover them with ashes and cow dung."

Area women Grace Bowles has started a GoFundMe campaign to raise money for Fleshlights to be deployed soldiers overseas.

The Williams family was having its weekly Monopoly game night when a fight broke out over a property trade between brother and sister that erupted in to chaos when the whole family got involved after cheating was alleged.

In a bold move that Libertarians are calling voluntarism at its best, pizza delivery giant Domino's has pledge to help California wildfires.