Following a recent and sensational report that men's beards as dirty as toilets, the Middle Eastern terrorist group known as ISIL or ISIS has decided to put their mandatory Islamic facial hair to good use: they're loading their beards up with deadly bacteria.
The much-anticipated sequel to the 2000 black comedy film American Psycho is slated to be released to United Stated audiences sometime after January 20th.
A Tennessee Republican is asking that all Taco Bells be shut down for being too Mexican. Clem O'Connor of Hazard, TN says he's "not racist at all" but that he "just know[s] that you can't have a huge welfare state and let any Tom, Dick or Jose in the country."
According to Caltech Astrophysicist Dr. Tral Aldrich, there is a distinct possibility that Willard Scott is still alive. Dr. Aldrich, who has written extensively on String Theory and alternative universes, maintains that what we see and perceive on a daily basis is may not be real, however he is willing to make an exception for the weather presenter, author, television personality and occasional actor.
The American Medicinal Association has just made a stunning and likely world-changing announcement -- AIDS and cancer have both been simultaneously cured forever. Stunningly, the AMAA says that it wasn't the communal efforts of medical research funded largely by taxes that went to various research universities and private labs, but the American free-market capitalist economy that "magically" cured them, according to a press release
Conspiracy theorist and chili aficionado Alex Jones announced this week that he plans on suing his own quotes. Early this week, Greek yogurt giant Chobani filed a lawsuit against the right-wing radio host, accusing him of publishing false information about the company.
