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Pokemon Kills Unarmed African-American Man

Chris Simmons was blasted with fire from Arcanine's flamethrower ability. He was killed instantly. Arcanine was later captured by Jim Tabor, a white man armed with a poke' ball. This information has led police to believe the killing was racially motivated.

Country Duo Florida-Georgia Line To Marry

Florida-Georgia Line has shaken the country music world with news that they plan to wed each other. It will be Nashville's first married gay music artists. They revealed that their marriages to women were a sham and simply a cover up to hide the relationship.

Michele Bachmann Not Afraid to Say What We All Know

Michele Bachmann announced to America over the weekend what Americans everywhere already knew: that 'gays' will "freely prey on little children sexually."

Dirty Jobs Mike Rowe Files For Disability

Mike Rowe is beloved by many for his great insight on current events and on his television show Dirty Jobs, where he seeks out those jobs that many of us would not do.

Merle Haggard Leaves Estate To Bakersfield LGBT Group

A bigger shock came shortly after Haggard's death when his lawyer read his last will and testament. Haggard left his entire estate to Interpride Enterprises, as Bakersfield, CA-based LGBT group that puts on Pride parades around the world.

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