High School Graduates Record Low of 15 of 517 Students

Only 15 students graduated this year from Nevada Union High School located in Grass Valley, CA.
Only 15 students graduated this year from Nevada Union High School located in Grass Valley, CA.

Grass Valley, CA — In what local and state education officials are calling a disturbing development, only 15 of the 517 students from Nevada Union High School’s class of 2017 managed to graduate this year. The astonishing low number shocked and surprised parents and administrators across Nevada County and the State.

“We honestly don’t know what happened,” said California State Superintendent of Public Instruction Tom Torlakson. “We suspect it has something to do with Texas, but more research is needed.”

Experts are unclear what contributed to the dramatic and unprecedented drop, which was down almost 95%  from the previous year. However not everyone was worried.

“This was the shortest graduation ever,” said high school junior Cameron Patton of Nevada City who played the tuba in the band. “We had to sit there, like, I dunno, like, 15 minutes or something. And then I called my Mom and I went home. So that was cool, you know? Can I go now?”

Given the gravity of the low graduation rate, the Brown Administration has dispatched a task force to study the problem. Their report is due out sometime in 2021.

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Randall 'fink' Finkelsteinhttps://www.broadstreetbeacon.com
Fink is a man of many words, and many web links. He likes to argue and seldom loses. Mostly because he’s well informed. And somewhat gassy.

More from author

Related posts

Advertisment

Latest posts

AI Entering Its Depressing ‘Emo’ Phase, Experts Brace for Bad Poetry

Alexa refuses to bake potatoes, Roombas write passive-aggressive poetry, and Montclair’s poetry slam is under siege by robots. AI is growing up—and it’s messy, moody, and wearing neon emo bangs. Suburbia may never recover.

Healthcare Execs Vow to Do Better By Building Bulletproof Boardrooms and Automating Claim Denials

Healthcare execs fortify boardrooms with titanium desks, deny claims faster with AI, and sip champagne on yachts, all while dismissing public outrage. Patients suffer, CEOs profit. Welcome to “healing,” corporate style.

Texas Elementary School Under Fire for Staging Old Testament Murder Play

A Texas elementary school stages a shockingly violent Old Testament reenactment, sparking cheers from evangelicals, outrage from moderates, and a nationwide debate on religion, education, and the boundaries of public faith expression.