- Really just a bunch of crap to put with your existing crap
Misc. Crap for Sale in Cedar Ridge
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Randall 'fink' Finkelsteinhttps://www.broadstreetbeacon.com
Fink is a man of many words, and many web links. He likes to argue and seldom loses. Mostly because he’s well informed. And somewhat gassy.
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National News
NYC Mayor Eric Adams Asks Jesus for Guidance; Jesus Says No
NYC Mayor Eric Adams keeps invoking Jesus amid scandals, but divine sources confirm Christ has blocked his prayers, issued a cease-and-desist, and may reconsider NYC’s existence altogether. Heavenly Yelp review incoming.
Earth News
Trudeau Warns Trump: “Raise Tariffs Again and Another Plane Might Just Flip Over”
Canada escalates the tariff war with a bold new strategy: flipping airplanes. Trudeau issues a cryptic warning to Trump, hinting at more “accidents" and an unexpected Manitoba-sized diplomatic nightmare for the U.S.
Chemtrails
Elon Confirms Starship Failure Due to Use of Flex Seal Tape
A hilarious tale of how Elon Musk used Flex Seal tape on SpaceX's Starship in an outlandish experiment to cut costs and innovate faster. From late-night infomercial inspiration to a catastrophic yet entertaining spaceflight, this satirical article dives into Musk's unexpected partnership with the iconic adhesive brand and his unorthodox approach to rocket science.
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Local News
Pet Anti-Vaccination Advocate Dies From Rabies
A Northern Californian woman has died after being attacked by her rabid dog, authorities reported yesterday. Amelia Brushworn of North Bloomfield, California was found dead at her home by relatives.
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Latest posts
Trump Claims USA Hockey Team Wouldn’t Have Lost to Canada “If He Was President”
President Trump blames Team USA's hockey loss to Canada on Trudeau's alleged "wiretaps" and fake ice, unveiling doctored footage with a Sharpie, claiming victory in a bizarre Oval Office rant.
NYC Mayor Eric Adams Asks Jesus for Guidance; Jesus Says No
NYC Mayor Eric Adams keeps invoking Jesus amid scandals, but divine sources confirm Christ has blocked his prayers, issued a cease-and-desist, and may reconsider NYC’s existence altogether. Heavenly Yelp review incoming.
Carrot Top, Larry the Cable Guy Convene to Negotiate Peace Between Russia and Ukraine
In a Las Vegas summit, Carrot Top and Larry the Cable Guy negotiate Ukraine peace talks, sidelining Zelenskyy. Featuring prop diplomacy, casino chaos, and satire sharper than a novelty yo-yo.
