Articles by
Roy Riffle
Our youngest columnist, Roy Riffle gained fortune, though not necessarily fame, when at 9 years old he coined the phrase "Obey Your Thirst". Some of his smugness stems from "having read the bible and understanding the metaphors." Roy is currently the only Millennial on Gish Gallop payroll. And hopefully the last.
Local News
Rival Deer Found in Grass Valley Front Yard
Grass Valley, CA -- This morning a local reader of The Fazzler spotted a group of deer...
Satire
Humpty Dumpty Kitchen Now Offers Ranch Dressing as a Main Course
The genius idea came from one of "The Dump's" servers, Daphne Hoosie, after she noticed patrons simply eating sides of ranch dressing.
National News
Fox News Fires All Male Employees
In what some are calling a rash and hasty action, The Fox News Group, parent company of the News Channel, has fired all 253 male members of its staff and replaced them with an all female employee base.
Art
Gwyneth Paltrow’s Gynecology MasterClass Breaks the Internet
All of the major Internet Service Providers announced plans to slow down Ms. Paltrow's controversial class in order to preserve network capacity.
Satire
Elks Lodge to Host Roundabout Support Group
The Grass Valley Elk's Lodge held a contentious "support group" to discuss the menacing East Main Street Roundabout.
Living
Libertarians Finally Enjoying National Parks During Government Shutdown
Libertarians from across the country are finally enjoying National Parks free from the interference of socialism.
Satire
Chick-fil-A Stock Soars Under New Saudi Ownership
Analysts claim that the Saudi's are "a perfect fit" as the new owners of Chick-fil-A.
Sports
NBA Player Calls Timeout To Pray Towards Mecca
Recent Islam convert and seldom played point guard Nadeem el-Rasheed interrupted a recent playoff game with a prayer timeout.
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