Holographic Kurt Cobain to Appear at 2024 CES in Las Vegas

Las Vegas, NV — After what people are calling the most successful and exciting Consumer Electronics Show (CES) in 2024, organizers of the yearly gathering of technology giants have announced that rock legend Kurt Cobain will close out the 2024 3-day event in holographic form sponsored by Samsung. Mr. Cobain’s virtual performance will mark the 29th anniversary of his suicide.

“We are thrilled to have Kurt on the stage with us,” said Samsung spokesperson Bethany Millbright speaking from US Samsung headquarters in San Jose, CA. “Mr. Cobain’s music and, more importantly, his rebellious spirit is the kind of hip vibe we want consumers to associate with Samsung. It’s the perfect marriage between the grunge counter-culture and consumer electronics. It’s part of our 2024/25 Conquest of Cool campaign.”

Samsung is looking to invigorate its brand after a disastrous 2020 brought the Korean electronics giant bad press, notably around their flagship Galaxy S21 smartphone, which often spontaneously combusted, injuring several people. The issue became so pronounced and dangerous that to this day, many airliners make announcements before take-off warning passengers that the Galaxy S21 is not allowed on board. Given this obvious attempt to boost Samsung’s sagging image positively, critics quickly pointed out how risky aligning themselves with an iconoclastic musician such as Kurt Cobain was.

“First, Volkswagen did it in the 1960s. You know, made it ‘cool’ to be a rebel with a car that could float. Then Apple did, co-opting the counterculture into the mainstream that made computers and phones rebellious,” commented Professor James Badwater of the University of Chicago’s Badwater Institute of Public Policy and Culture. “However, I’m unsure how this Kurt Cobain thing will work out for him. He certainly was a part of the counter-culture movement, but he was deeply troubled, as demonstrated by his suicide. I’m not sure this stunt will bear fruit for Samsung. It might backfire.”

According to Ms. Millbright, the CES will finally be held in the main auditorium at the Las Vegas Convention Center, where Mr. Cobain will appear on the world’s first 120ft-wide (112ft diagonal) television, which Samsung is tentatively calling Cobainvision®.

“It’s the world’s largest OLED television set for the consumer market, boasting an incredible 94000K (92,654p nominal) screen resolution,” continued Ms. Millbright. “Using Artificial Intelligence technology built into the platform, we can re-animate any dead artist or celebrity. And we’re using this event to bring back Mr. Cobain. It should be very exciting.”

The 2024 Las Vegas Consumer Electronics Show will be held from August 9th through the 12th, 2024. The 120ft Cobainvision television will retail for approximately $125,000, for which special financing is available.

Roy Riffle
Roy Rifflehttps://www.facebook.com/roy.riffle.5
Our youngest columnist, Roy Riffle gained fortune, though not necessarily fame, when at 9 years old he coined the phrase "Obey Your Thirst". Some of his smugness stems from "having read the bible and understanding the metaphors." Roy is currently the only Millennial on Gish Gallop payroll. And hopefully the last.

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