Articles by
Roy Riffle
Our youngest columnist, Roy Riffle gained fortune, though not necessarily fame, when at 9 years old he coined the phrase "Obey Your Thirst". Some of his smugness stems from "having read the bible and understanding the metaphors." Roy is currently the only Millennial on Gish Gallop payroll. And hopefully the last.
Earth News
North Korean Hackers Steal Coca-Cola Recipe
In an early morning tweet, the DPRK News Service announced that leader Kim Jong-un had his first drink of that they're calling the "imperialist liquor" made on Korean soil.
Satire
Gavin Newsom Suggests Draining Lake Tahoe to Solve Future Droughts
Lake Tahoe has 39 trillion gallons of water. That is enough water to supply everyone in the United States with 75 gallons per day for five years.
National News
Osama bin Laden’s Body Accidentally Discovered During Burial at Sea
What they found when they opened the shroud sent shock-waves throughout US Naval command, the Pentagon, the White House, and Alex Jones's little micro-universe.
Satire
Lake Wildwood Struggling to Enforce Christmas Light Ban
The notoriously restrictive Penn Valley gated community is having trouble with Christmas light violators.
Living
Hanes Trademarks OxyCotton
In what is raising more than a few eyebrows in the garment industry, Hanes Brands, the parent company of the popular line of Hanes undergarments has trademarked the phrase OxyCotton for its new line of mens and women's underwear.
Art
Jump to Conclusions Game Wins Funding On Shark Tank
Tom Smykowski, a recently laid off engineering manager, found favor on ABC TV's Shark Tank for his game Jump to Conclusions.
Satire
Earth First! Liberates Christmas Trees From Savemart Parking Lot
One eyewitness claims she saw the vans hurrying out of the parking lot, with trees sticking out of the windows.
Satire
John Travolta’s Got Chills, They’re Multiplying
Rydell High School's Danny is not feeling well as of late.
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