Apple Warns Users Against Using iPhone as a Table Saw

Cupertino, CA — Apple has cautioned its customers to refrain from utilizing iPhones as table saws.

The warning, placed on the company’s website and emailed to all Apple users via email, claimed that the iPhones were not intended to be used as table saws and that doing so might result in serious harm or death.

“We recognize that our iPhones are versatile and can be used for a variety of activities, but we do not recommend using them as table saws,” the warning stated. “These machines lack the requisite safety features and blade guards to safeguard users from the dangers of table saw operation.”

The warning advised users to seek appropriate table saws for woodworking tasks and to use any power instruments with care.

Many Apple fans have expressed outrage and amazement at suggesting that their costly devices could be used as saws. “I can’t believe I have to read this warning,” one social media user exclaimed. Who in their right mind would consider using an iPhone as a table saw?

Apple maintains its stance, maintaining that the safety of its users is its primary priority despite the outrage. The company said, “We simply want to ensure that our users are aware of the potential risks and take the required safeguards.”

If you consider using your iPhone as a table saw, you should reconsider. It may appear convenient, but the danger is not worth taking. Utilize the correct equipment and stay safe outdoors.

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Fink is a man of many words, and many web links. He likes to argue and seldom loses. Mostly because he’s well informed. And somewhat gassy.

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