Cedar Ridge, CA — According to sources close to the Rice Family, Cedar Ridge private contractor, family man, and dutiful husband Ken Rice accidentally washed in the wrong order in the shower early Wednesday morning.
“He was talking about it at the ‘Shaft,'” commented a patron at a local watering hole who overheard Mr. Rice’s concerns. “He was a little drunk and over-sharing,’ if you know what I mean. He had a friend with him who had to stop him from posting it to Facebook.”
Although there are no official rules on the order that one should wash in the shower, generally, one should wash his/her dirty bits last and with soap, body wash, etc., to avoid having one’s face smell like ass.
“He was going on how he washed his ass first,” continued the anonymous Mineshaft source, ” and then he washed his face. He was laughing about it. But I think he wouldn’t have been laughing if he weren’t drunk. His drunk friends even tried sniffing his face. Kinda gross, right?”
The Fazzler reached out to Mr. Rice for comment on Wednesday afternoon, but he declined to comment.
