Area Man Washes in Wrong Order in Shower

Cedar Ridge, CA — According to sources close to the Rice Family, Cedar Ridge private contractor, family man, and dutiful husband Ken Rice accidentally washed in the wrong order in the shower early Wednesday morning.

“He was talking about it at the ‘Shaft,'” commented a patron at a local watering hole who overheard Mr. Rice’s concerns. “He was a little drunk and over-sharing,’ if you know what I mean. He had a friend with him who had to stop him from posting it to Facebook.”

Although there are no official rules on the order that one should wash in the shower, generally, one should wash his/her dirty bits last and with soap, body wash, etc., to avoid having one’s face smell like ass.

“He was going on how he washed his ass first,” continued the anonymous Mineshaft source, ” and then he washed his face. He was laughing about it. But I think he wouldn’t have been laughing if he weren’t drunk. His drunk friends even tried sniffing his face. Kinda gross, right?”

The Fazzler reached out to Mr. Rice for comment on Wednesday afternoon, but he declined to comment.

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Fink is a man of many words, and many web links. He likes to argue and seldom loses. Mostly because he’s well informed. And somewhat gassy.

More from author

Related posts


Latest posts

McDonald’s Bids Farewell to Epstein Island’s Last Golden Arches Amid Controversial Legacy

The McDonald’s on Epstein Island has shuttered its windows for good, marking the end of what the company now refers to as a "misguided adventure in international franchising." The closure comes amidst a whirlwind of controversy and a belated corporate acknowledgment that some locations, no matter how potentially profitable, are better left un-McTouched.

Bombshell Uncovered: Hunter S. Thompson’s Lost ‘Dr. Strangelove’ Audition

A recently unearthed photograph has revealed the unimaginable: Hunter S. Thompson, king of gonzo journalism, once commandeered the captain’s seat of a B-52, not in the throes of a drug-fueled fantasy, but as a contender for the iconic role in Kubrick’s 'Dr. Strangelove.' The discovery challenges everything we thought we knew about the man who lived on the edge of American sanity.