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Articles by

Loretta Splitair

Loretta Splitair is Fazzler's Media and Cultural Editor. She has written widely including publications such as Rolling Stone, The Atlantic and the Lady's Home Journal where she hosts a regular column on the ravages of Billy Joel's music entitled, Billy Joel is a Piece of Shit. Loretta is married to her second husband after her first died protesting railway expansion in Kansas. Please do not ask her about it.
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Local News

Area City to Install Cameras in Men’s Restrooms

Nevada City is planning on installing cameras in all city limits male restrooms to, in the words of the leaked document, "keep an eye on potential male preditors."
Loretta Splitair -
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National News

Critics Question Trump’s New Christian Stigmata

After a successful campaign tour through the Lone Star state, Presidential Donald Trump surprised his Dallas supporters by revealing that he has a Christian Stigmata on his right hand. As he left the podium, a collective gasp arose from the audience as he raised his right hand clearly revealing a Stigmata.
Loretta Splitair -
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Paranormal

Shocking Video: Car Disappears Into Portal

A minivan enters the frame, it disappears into a ball of light.
Loretta Splitair -
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Local News

New Photographic Evidence Suggests Wright Brothers Not First to Flight

For over a hundred years, many Grass Valley locals have maintained that the Wright Brothers famous 1903 flight at Kittyhawk, North Carolina was the second time in humans flew in an airplane.
Loretta Splitair -
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National News

Nibiru Expected to be a 2022 Trending Baby Name

According to the National Institutes of Health, which tracks such data, many new parents in the face of the general pessimism following what many are calling 2021's horrible events have taken to channel their frustrations in new and creative ways.
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Satire

Jesus Fails to Restore Power to 30,000 Nevada County Customers

After both the county and PG&E failed to plan for what everyone knew would be "that storm," many took to churches and prayers for help.
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Living

Old St. Louis Stadium to be Site of New Ferguson Jail

The City of St. Louis and Rams team owner Stan Kroenke has made steps to offset the ballooning costs by converting the old and perfectly functional Edwards Jones Dome into a modern prison facility.
Loretta Splitair -
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Satire

Graham Chapman’s Ashes To Visit the Center For The Arts

The ashes of Graham Chapman, the very dead English comedian, writer, actor, and one of the six members of the surreal comedy group Monty Python, are coming to Grass Valley's Center for the Arts.
Loretta Splitair -
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Latest Posts

Elon Confirms Starship Failure Due to Use of Flex Seal Tape

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
A hilarious tale of how Elon Musk used Flex Seal tape on SpaceX's Starship in an outlandish experiment to cut costs and innovate faster. From late-night infomercial inspiration to a catastrophic yet entertaining spaceflight, this satirical article dives into Musk's unexpected partnership with the iconic adhesive brand and his unorthodox approach to rocket science.

CNN’s Dana Bash Still in Sibling Fight Over Childhood Big Wheel

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
A decades-old sibling feud over a childhood Big Wheel resurfaces every December 30th, blending humor, nostalgia, and Dana Bash’s quest for justice in this playful tale of enduring family dynamics.

AI Entering Its Depressing ‘Emo’ Phase, Experts Brace for Bad Poetry

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
Alexa refuses to bake potatoes, Roombas write passive-aggressive poetry, and Montclair’s poetry slam is under siege by robots. AI is growing up—and it’s messy, moody, and wearing neon emo bangs. Suburbia may never recover.

Healthcare Execs Vow to Do Better By Building Bulletproof Boardrooms and Automating Claim Denials

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
Healthcare execs fortify boardrooms with titanium desks, deny claims faster with AI, and sip champagne on yachts, all while dismissing public outrage. Patients suffer, CEOs profit. Welcome to “healing,” corporate style.

Texas Elementary School Under Fire for Staging Old Testament Murder Play

Loretta Splitair - 0
A Texas elementary school stages a shockingly violent Old Testament reenactment, sparking cheers from evangelicals, outrage from moderates, and a nationwide debate on religion, education, and the boundaries of public faith expression.

Most Popular

Skydiver Caught by 737 Dragged For 200 Miles

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 21
A Manteca, CA man is lucky to be alive following an encounter with a Boeing 737.

Trump Tours Chemtrail Plane and Promises to Stop the Geoengineering Program

Michael Stephen - 1600
Former President Donald Trump inspected a chemtrail-equipped Boeing 767 at Andrews Air Force Base, vowing to dismantle the controversial program. Joined by Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, Trump aims to redirect funds to infrastructure and his border wall. The plan faces significant hurdles, including Congressional approval and Senate resistance, but anti-chemtrail activists are cautiously optimistic.

Family Cited For Viking Funeral on Local Lake

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
A local Norwegian family from the Cascade Shores housing development is in hot water for attempting to cremate a deceased relative on Scotts Flat Lake earlier today. The Barstad family recently suffer the loss of the family's patriarch, Norman Barstad, who had lived with the family at their Spanish Lane home.

Local Militia Attempts to Reopen Denny’s

Roy Riffle - 0
A Placer County self-proclaimed 'patriot militia' attempted to re-open a Newcastle Denny's restaurant.

Bilderberg Group to Meet in Sierra City in 2025

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein - 0
The annual private meeting of North American and European elites known as the Bilderberg Group announced this week that they will be holding their annual conference at Herrington's Sierra Pines Resort in June of 2022.

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