Ben Franklin Employee Tired of Answering Abortion Questions

Jill Baker is done with the personal questions and inappropriate behavior of her customers

Jill Baker is “done” with the personal questions and inappropriate behavior of her customers

Grass Valley, CA — Local Ben Franklin checkout clerk Jill Baker is tired of answering Pro-Life and Pro-Choice inquiries from customers. Over a year after the ruling, she is still fielding questions from both conservative and liberal customers about her abortion preferences.

Ben Franklin is a national chain of hobby supplies and nick-knacks that competes directly with Oklahoma City-based Hobby Lobby. Hobby Lobby gained national attention due to its opposition to Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (PPACA) or as it’s known more colloquially, “Obamacare.” Owner David Green fought the PPACA’s implementation, arguing in the United States Supreme Court that his Fundamentalist Christian beliefs conflicted with some of the contraception requirements in the healthcare law. The ruling, in Hobby Lobby’s favor, has unleashed a series of unintended consequences. For example Satanists now are claiming exemption from “informed consent” portions of the law with regards to abortion. It is unclear if Satanists shop at Hobby Lobby or Ben Franklin.

“I’m just tired of everyone coming in here thinking this is Hobby Lobby,” said Ms. Baker after her shift. “If I have to answer one more abortion question, I’m gonna flip out on the customers. Liberals are asking me if I have safe access to abortions. Conservatives keep handing me these mini Bibles and asking me to pray with them, in the check out line.”

According to sources with Ben Franklin, Ms. Frost isn’t the only one who has been to asked awkward questions in the checkout line.


“The other day I was ringing up some glow-in-the-dark stickers and some woman asks me if I have safe access to abortion,” said Jerri Frost, a part-time mother of 2 working at Ben Franklin. “I mean really, is that an appropriate conversation to have in a checkout line?”

Ms. Baker said she tries to be patient, but she’s grown tired of the odd questions and strange behavior of what she calls “Hobby Activists” in her checkout line.

“It just keep getting weirder since the whole Hobby Lobby decision,” continued Ms. Baker. “Yesterday, this woman slipped me some morning after pills and said, ‘here you go, just in case.’ Just in case what?”

Neither Ben Franklin nor Hobby Lobby returned The Fazzler’s request for comment.

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Fink is a man of many words, and many web links. He likes to argue and seldom loses. Mostly because he’s well informed. And somewhat gassy.

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