Chemtrails

In Dayton, Ohio, McDonald’s unveils its “Food Bong,” a device that feeds Big Macs directly to customers. Trump supporters hail this as proof of the “Trump effect” on everyday life, while across the street, Burger King, ever the attention-seeker, counters with a stomach pump deal for $1.99. Fast food meets politics in a showdown of indulgence and spectacle.

Hardee’s has unveiled the $2.99 Mega MAGA Burger, a six-patty stack of American appetite wrapped in Bible verses and the Constitution. The limited-time burger, designed to remind customers of simpler times, launched with a special appearance by Donald Trump at a Dayton, OH location. Crowds are flocking for a taste of nostalgia priced as if it were still 1996.

In Nevada County, Trump enthusiast Big D reveals the truth behind the “again” in MAGA: it’s all about resurrecting 1960s-style Jell-O salads. While his family debates policy, he’s fighting for the return of neon gelatin creations, Cool Whip, and canned fruit, insisting these are the true American traditions. This Thanksgiving, the political divide looks a little wobbly!

Donald Trump’s latest rally in Des Moines took a bizarre turn when he announced that McDonald’s would discontinue the Chicken Big Mac, sparking outrage among supporters. In a move as surreal as it was chaotic, Trump tossed sandwiches into the desperate crowd, framing McDonald’s decision as an “attack on freedom.” The crowd scrambled for every bite, chanting “Make Big Macs Great Again!”

Former President Donald Trump claims a “Haitian” squirrel attacked him, supposedly radicalized by Peanut, the New York squirrel recently seized by wildlife authorities. Trump’s supporters insist Peanut is proof of an anti-Trump squirrel uprising, fueling rumors of a “squirrel defense force” at Mar-a-Lago. Trump vows to “protect America from radical rodents”—even as the alleged squirrel roams free.

A Manteca, CA man is lucky to be alive following an encounter with a Boeing 737.

Former President Donald Trump inspected a chemtrail-equipped Boeing 767 at Andrews Air Force Base, vowing to dismantle the controversial program. Joined by Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, Trump aims to redirect funds to infrastructure and his border wall. The plan faces significant hurdles, including Congressional approval and Senate resistance, but anti-chemtrail activists are cautiously optimistic.

A local Norwegian family from the Cascade Shores housing development is in hot water for attempting to cremate a deceased relative on Scotts Flat Lake earlier today. The Barstad family recently suffer the loss of the family's patriarch, Norman Barstad, who had lived with the family at their Spanish Lane home.

A Placer County self-proclaimed 'patriot militia' attempted to re-open a Newcastle Denny's restaurant.

The annual private meeting of North American and European elites known as the Bilderberg Group announced this week that they will be holding their annual conference at Herrington's Sierra Pines Resort in June of 2022.