Man Worried About Well Level Accidentally Runs It Dry

Jim Shoemaker of Grass Valley claims men do not know how to dry properly.
Jim Shoemaker of Grass Valley pumped his well dry testing to see if it was dry.

Grass Valley, CA — A Hidden Valley Road man accidentally ran is well dry after repeatedly testing the volume throughout the day on Sunday.

“I’ve been all freaked out about the drought,” said Joe Shoemaker from his Grass Valley home. “So I’ve been out testing my well a few times a day to get an understanding of the water pressure and whatnot. Well, it seems that I tested it too much.”

The current severe drought has raised the collective anxiety of Californians. When afraid or angry, critical thinking capacity tends to plummet and people tend to do and say all kinds of irrational things.

Some have taken to the social media to express their fears.

“I am very worried about my well as is everyone up here,” said North San Juan resident Merrilee Longshoes on a local Facebook group. “We’ve done everything we can think of to conserve water. Let’s just say there are people up here who are using more than their fair-share of the groundwater.”

Immediately after posting her concerns, Ms. Longshoes was ridiculed in the comment stream for not vaccinating her kids and for owning a pair of pit bulls. Neither of these had anything to do with the drought or the current water concerns in her area.

Others where more optimistic, like long time “Ridge” resident Shep “the Ship” Walkins.

“A lot of people up here are scared,” said a stoic Mr. Walkins, “but there’s always something to be scared about. I’ve seen plenty of crisis up here in my many years, and this one’s no different. Everyone just needs to calm the hell down and we’ll get through this.”

As for Mr. Shoemaker, he says he’s learned his lesson.

“I talked to the guys over at Peter’s Well, and they told me to relax and stop testing my well all day,” continued a calmer Mr. Shoemaker. “I’m gonna get a holding tank where I can see my water levels instead of running the valves at the pump house.”

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Fink is a man of many words, and many web links. He likes to argue and seldom loses. Mostly because he’s well informed. And somewhat gassy.

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