Nevada City Mayor Declares Herself Chancellor

Nevada City, CA — In what supporters are calling a brilliant political maneuver, controversial Mayor Reinette Senum has promoted herself the permanent and supreme Chancellor of Nevada City. As Chancellor, she will be able to pass laws and ordinances via declaration, thereby escaping Nevada City’s “corporate peep state infrastructure,” which she claims is secretly controlling the former Gold Rush town’s political machinations.

Critics claim her abrupt, and erratic power grab is not only illegal but an attempt to distract from the recent news that her fellow city council colleagues are attempting to remove her from office. Undeterred, Ms. Senum took to Broad Street with her trusty megaphone to accuse her critics of what she’s accused of.

“This is a great day for Nevada City and a bad day for the deep state corporate forces that are trying to poison us with their clandestine attacks,” blurted Ms. Senum to a small crowd of scared tourists. “They accuse me of promoting conspiracy theories, but that’s just fake news. The fact of the matter is our corporate handlers are the real liars trying to poison us with 5G, chemtrails, and their crisis actors who show up at every city council meeting to stir up fear and chaos.”

Avoiding Sanction

According to the Union, the local newspaper in neighboring Grass Valley, Ms. Senum will likely face sanctions or possible removal from office for a series of erratic and irrational comments she’s made over the years.

In the past, she’s promoted various conspiracy theories, including claiming that numerous mass shootings were conducted by paid “crisis actors” to more recent ones, which feature the chemtrails and the unproven electromagnetic dangers of modern mobile phone radiation. The latter has stirred up irrational fears of a global conspiracy to poison Nevada City’s citizens, which seems to have pushed the city council towards her removal.

Although Ms. Senum’s conspiracy theories are considered by most as “batshit crazy,” her local political base remains solidly intact.

“She could shoot someone on Pine Street, and I would still support her,” said ‘Gaze’ Smells, a local Nevada City activist and bead salesman who claims he’s supported Ms. Senum “since the beginning.” “She’s not afraid to drain the swamp around here. The other day I scared off a Verizon repair truck by throwing soy cheese at it. That’s the kind of courage she gives to us supporters.”

And even though the 5G mobile technology has not been deployed in Nevada City, many of Ms. Senum’s supporters already report electromagnetic ailments.

“I can already feel the effects of the 5G in my brain,” said Cottage Street resident Candy Kay who lives in an aluminum foil-lined studio apartment and sleeps inside an “artisanal” faraday cage she purchased from “I’m sure I have cancer now. I can feel the tumors just behind my ears from the 5G. The 4G just made the hair on my arms stand up. But the 5G is like sticking your head inside a microwave oven. Not the defrost setting, mind you, the full power.”

According to a Nevada City Hall whistleblower,  Ms. Senum’s authoritarian power grab is nothing more than a publicity stunt and will be ignored.

Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Randall 'fink' Finkelstein
Fink is a man of many words, and many web links. He likes to argue and seldom loses. Mostly because he’s well informed. And somewhat gassy.

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